Just a lady with a secret.....

He's Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

2010-10-17T05:40:00.003-04:00

Damn the greeting card companies for creating fakes holidays! Sweetest day?? What the hell is sweetest day??

Imagine my surprise as I pull into my drive way and find Tom sitting on the bottom step of my stair well with a pizza and several cans of pop.

WTF??

I had no idea what to do. I was obligated to invite him up, there was no way around it. Cursing myself for not just dumping him via email, I was certain the cold shoulder treatment would be sufficient enough to ditch him after the other day.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

How could someone so handsome and charismatic be so disgusting? I'm still baffled by it all. We munched on the pizza and watched 'The Lovely Bones' for a while, small talking and getting to know each other a little better.

The weird thing is, I still kind of like this guy. I just wish he could ditch the gastrointestinal problems.

Holy shit.... And I mean that in the most literal sense.

I had the most amazing sex with him last night. The farting problem, a distant memory. I was actually kind of glad I invited him to sleep over......

Until a few moments ago.

I don't think my bathroom is ever going to be the same again. He was trying not to wake me, but I was wide awake, laying there, pretending to sleep. Tiptoeing into my bathroom, he turned on the light and closed the door part way.

For the life of me, I can't imagine why he didn't CLOSE it ALL the way.... I heard sounds I've never heard come from a man. I may never be the same again.

I am disgusted.

2010-10-15T22:50:00.002-04:00

Is a girl considered slutty if she has several boyfriends?

One thing is certain, however, I will not be seeing Tom again.

Tom was a charismatic and handsome 58 year old man. He ran several times a week and was divorced for close to 2 years. Unfortunately for me, it took a second date to reveal some of his pitfalls.

We had talked and emailed several times, and met for dinner once, previous to this date. Nothing at all sexual had happened between us previous to last night.

Had I known what was about to happen last night, I probably wouldn't have fucked him last night either.

You would think his revealing several failed marriages would have deterred me, but it didn't. In my mind I thought, hey, it's not like I want to marry this guy. I don't even want to live with him. I just like the way I feel when I am around him. He treats me like a queen.

You would think the way he started to council me on divorce would turn me off, but that didn't either. (What am I? An idiot?) Instead I glazed over the conversation with apparent lack of interest and continued watching the movie in the darkness of the theater.

It wasn't until I invited him back to my apartment, for the first time I might add, that I really understood why he was still single and had all those failed marriages.

He farts constantly.

At first, I was completely horrified. There I was, laying naked, spread eagle across my bed while he licked and suckled my clit, and he lets one rip. Thinking to myself, I couldn't possibly have heard what I heard, I tried to push it out of my mind as he slowly slipped his finger into my ass. Then he really let go, and a series of short bursts followed by a 30 second marathon fart stunned me into complete silence. Noticing my horror, he half-heartedly and without any shred of shame fleetingly mumbles "sorry" and continues sliding a finger in my ass and licking my clit.

Every ounce of me to the very core of my being was screaming, "OH MY GOD, GET HIM THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!"

I didn't know what to do. Pretend it doesn't bother me? Tell him to stop?? Try like hell to get him the hell out of my apartment???

By now it was too late... He was naked with a raging hard on licking my ass and pinching my nipples. I just went with it, and let him continue on with the fart marathon.

I have never experienced anything like it in my life.

With my fingers crossed, I hoped he would decide to go home when it was all said and done, but that was not the case. I was destined to spend the night sleeping under the same blankets with this men.

That will be the only night I ever spend with this guy.

I wish I could say that was the last of the story, but I would be sorely mistaken. I was awoken this morning by the sound of his ass cheeks vibrating against my legs as he let one last goddamn fart go right in my lap.

Can a guy be turned on by that?

I am just now connecting all the ass play with his 'problem'. He licked my ass. He fucked me in the ass this morning after I rolled away from him in horror.

Is he into scat??

I can honestly say, I am into a lot of things, but this just totally disgusted me on so many levels. Tom and I will never happen again.

And his name is Steve....

2010-08-14T22:44:00.002-04:00

I spoke with Steve on the phone today, he was worried that I had changed my mind after our first encounter together in his hotel room.

Two weeks have passed since our encounter, and I have thought of nothing else since.

He feels I am unlike anyone he has ever met, which is assuredly true. I am unlike anyone I have ever met, either.

He reminds me of R in so very many ways....

I'm going to have to watch myself with this one.

Evans, CO

2010-08-08T13:13:00.006-04:00

The city I very nearly relocated myself to, this past spring.

I have those same, caged feelings again. Feelings of being trapped, held against my will.

I hate my life, I day dream of escaping on an almost daily basis.

I spent 3 months researching Evans, it's population, crime rate, education and employment statistics.

What kept me here? Here in my caged prison?

My children.

It was not my secret lover man, whom I have been seeing for an entire year now, nor was it my husband who I can barely stand to be in the same room with.

It was my children.

I found myself scanning through the paper again this morning. So many apartments out there, I just wish I could bring myself to leaving. Part of me is scared, scared for what will happen. I no longer have that cushy high paying job I once had. Can I afford to live on my own? It terrifies me to consider bringing my children into an environment where their basic human needs could not be met.

Thoughts to ponder, I suppose.

For the moment, I will find my escape within the naughty little trysts I secretly enjoy as my life slips by.

Another lover?

2010-08-07T13:35:00.000-04:00

A husband, 3 kids, full time employment, and 2 lovers?

Is it possible?

I don't know, but I soon shall see.

I met the most amazing man at work last week. He has captured my very soul with those beautiful brown eyes and that adorably withdrawn smile.

I wanted to take him to the back stock room and fuck him the instant we began talking.

We met up in his hotel room the instant I left work. His cock was hard and his shirt was off when he opened the door for me. A sly little smile betrayed my amusement, he turned away from me slightly, trying to hide his arousal.

Unable to resist him, I sat on the bed and motioned for him to join me. Placing my hand on his thigh, I leaned in and lightly pressed my lips upon his own. Pouncing on the opportunity, he passionately forced me against the bed, his right arm holding me against him, his rock hard cock pressed against my leg.

I ripped my own work uniform off the minute he rolled back, away from me, to get a condom. Sitting back now, thinking about it, I'm almost embarrassed at my own display of wanton lust. He must have viewed me as a complete sexual illiterate.

That is definitely not the case, as my readers do know.

"I hope you don't mind," I giggled to him, throwing my panties across the room. Condom in place, and smiling up a storm, he rolled in and got up on his knees. Holding my legs across his chest, he slid his throbbing cock between my legs and positioned my ass on his thighs.

His cock was huge.

Every thrust ended with his cock slamming against my cervix, sharp little pains radiated out into the small of my back. I could feel myself torn between pleasure and pain as I pressed my legs against his chest and my back against the bed. Long, loud moans filled the room, I was assuredly waking up anyone with an adjoining room. Sweat dripped from his body, splashing on my face and chest, as he rolled me onto my side, to lean above me, and continue fucking me. Grabbing onto the bed post to steady myself, I could not stop my body from heaving back and forth as he continued thrusting. Kissing my cheek, and shoulder, his sweaty lips left a trail across my body as his hand grasped and pulled my hair.

With one long, sweaty, thrust he finally came. Holding me close, I could feel his hot wet skin sticking to my own. My breath coming in gasps, I couldn't say a word.

"You're shaking, sweety," he purred in my ear, holding me close.

At that very moment in time, I knew I had to see him again.

Today

2010-04-02T21:00:00.002-04:00

I met my Lover Man today at his house, scarf in hand. He smiled as I stepped through the door, taking the scarf from my hand.

"Are you ready, darling?" He winked at me.

"Yes," I replied, my voice giddy with excitement.

Cupping my ass with his palm, he led my down the stairs and into the spare bedroom we use for our intimate affairs.

"I've missed you so much," I say, turning to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I've missed you too Lover Girl," his eyes peer into mine, I laugh. His hand has deftly found it's way beneath my shirt and begun to lightly touch the area of my lower back where I am ticklish. Pulling me closer, he kisses my neck and laughs at my squirming.

He has taken his Viagra, his cock is rock hard pressing against me. I press my pelvis into him, I love the way his cock feels against me. I love it even more when it's thrusting inside me.

"Hop on the bed, Lover Girl," he demands me. I obey him willingly. Tying both hands to the headboard with my scarf, I am left helpless to him.

Helpless to his kissing, and sucking, and touching, and thrusting.

For hours.

Life

2010-03-31T19:55:00.002-04:00

I am nearing my 36th birthday and life is good again. I have a 2 year old daughter now, a daughter who will never know her Daddy is not her biological father. She is lying next to me, right now, kicking her feet and whining just a little because my attention is no longer on her, I am writing. I have a 15 year old son who has gotten his drivers permit, anxiously awaiting his 16th birthday so he will no longer have to ride around with his mom. I have a 7 year old who will always be my cuddle butt. I hope the day never comes when he decides it is uncool to tell me he loves me, or give me a hug before school.

Professionally my job is nothing like my former. I miss my old job, it was my life. I often think back to the way things were at the time and smile. My coworkers and friends inside that facility were family, an integral part of my life. The closure of my facility tore my family apart, we have never been the same. New jobs, new paths of life, I rarely see any of them anymore.

R is long gone. He has moved on with his life without me, just as I have moved on with mine without him. I miss him, from time to time, just as I am sure he misses me as well. He was my lover, and friend, I miss the closeness we once shared.

But I have found a new plaything, for myself, a man who is totally unlike anyone I have ever been attracted to. He is unemployed, and even when he was employed, he worked at a lumber yard. No suits for him, or expensive cars. He drives an old truck in which we have fucked in the back end because he couldn't afford a hotel room. He is quite a bit older than I, but for the life of me I don't see age. I see his kindness, and lust for me. When I think of him I see his smile, and the glint of wickedness in his eyes.

When I think of him I grow warm for him, for his touch, for the way his cock feels between my legs.

Times they are a changing....

2010-03-26T08:39:00.002-04:00

It has been a while since I have visited my blog.

Things have really changed, in that time.

My links no longer work, or the blog authors have stopped blogging some time ago. I am disappointed in myself for giving up my love of writing, giving up my sexual pass time.

It's time for me to return.

A note from A.......

2009-04-28T07:36:00.004-04:00

i keep thinking back to your warm mouth around my cock, sucking me dry, all my cum rushing out, and a little getting away, wishing it was warmer out that day and we could have found a nice place to lay you down and i would climb on top of you , sliding myself in you as deep as i could push myself in, hoping to reach you most inner wall, having my head press against it, feeling you warm cum wet us both and letting you feel my cock as it pusated as i orgasmed, and filled you with all that i had, it pushing out of you with each stroke i made into you, skin on skin, your breasts against my chest, my lips lock in yours, moaning as we cum

I love the way he thinks. I see his misspelled words and poor grammar and know that he isn't the type of man that I have always been drawn to in the past, but he has captured my attention regardless.

My loins ache to see him...

A new start, a new man.....

2009-04-26T01:46:00.002-04:00

She licked the precum that had pooled on the head of his cock with her tongue, tasting him. His cock was firm and warm, salty to taste. Shivers of anticipation traveled within her, she wanted much more, but knew she would have to wait, wait until the two of them could be completely alone. His hand rested on the back of her head, softly mussing her hair while she slowly took the length of his cock in her mouth, her lips and tongue sliding across his sensitive skin. She ached for him as he quietly called out her name, warning her of his inevitable climax. She pulled her head back to swallow when the cum filled her mouth, a second wave of cum flowing from his cock down her hand, a portion of which finally resting upon his clothing, thick and cloudy. It had been such a long time, she had forgotten just how much cum a man contains within him. Next time, she tells herself, next time she'll swallow it all.

Wednesday

2008-06-19T14:40:00.002-04:00

I lusted for you, as I watched you, as I spoke with you....

A warm heat traveled the length of my body as my fingers delved between the delicate folds of sensitive skin, lightly stroking my aroused clit.

I pictured you, naked, hardened cock thrusting inside me.....

You stroked your cock for me, I envied you. I longed to be the reason for your arousal, the reason for your release. I longed to run my tongue up the length of your cock and taste the precum accumulating at the tip.

I longed to feel you pulsing inside me as you climaxed.....

The urgent, overwhelming need for you enveloped me, my arousal visible by the ever increasing wet spot developing on the soft pink fabric between my legs.

I adore the way I lust for you.

Wednesday

2008-03-19T21:00:00.003-04:00

I had sex with the New Guy in the middle of his living room on the carpet this afternoon.

It was our first time.

I'm not sure what to think about him yet, he is sooooo attractive but his intelligence is limited. This is a tough one for me, I find an intelligent man so very appealing, I can say with quite a bit of certainty that I would probably choose an average looking intelligent man over an unintelligent GQ model any day.

He told me my skin was soft, that I had beautiful eyes, that I was an excellent kisser....

His actions had told me he wanted me to go down on him but I wasn't ready to do that yet, which is odd for me. I tend to be the type of woman who picks up on cues like that and submits to them.

I'm not as attracted to him as he is to me.

Sitting on his couch with my legs spread, he knelt before me, arms around me, cock pressed between my legs gently rubbing against me. He was hard, there was no mistaking it. We kissed for a long moment.

"Look at me," he requested. I opened my eyes, he was gazing intently at me, his face close enough to my own that I could feel his breath upon my lips.

I felt unnerved that he kissed with his eyes open, I felt unnerved that he, on several occasions, requested I look at him. Even during sex he wanted me to look at him.

I guess I can't understand this logic. My mind is on auto pilot when it comes to this kind of thing, certain habits are so very hard to break.

Closing my eyes would be one of those habits.

I think perhaps he may be vain, wanting to feel admired and ogled. He is a very muscular man, it is plain to see he lifts weights. He also takes great pains to keep his body hair to a minimum. I have never met a man who grooms his chest hair, and I sincerely mean he grooms his chest hair. Not only does he keep it trimmed but he uses clippers on it as well.

I am perplexed, I suppose.

On the one hand I find myself greatly attracted to T, who I might as well say is the exact opposite of the New Guy. Short, a little on the heavy side, not attractive, but he is so very smart. I can't understand how I can find myself so attracted to someone who is all of these qualities and married to boot and not be attracted to a single, body building, attractive man because I feel he has limited intellect.

I let him cum inside me, he was a little discouraged that he was unable to bring me to orgasm first. His hands were on either side of me, cupping the back of my head. As odd as this sounds, I felt scrunched when he came, each hand grasping a handful of hair pulling my head back slightly as he pushed in fiercely with his cock, holding this position for several moments.

His cum oozed out of me as he finally withdrew.

And ooze it did, thick and white, a spot the size of a quarter was on the carpet where I had previously lain.

I'm left wondering if any future meetings with him would be this awkward.

Wednesday

2008-03-15T16:04:00.004-04:00

At T's request, I met with him in his new office.

Even though I promised myself there would be no sex involved, there was sex.

I'm surprised I haven't been turned to ash as punishment by God in a savage lightning strike of some kind.

I certainly deserve it.

The visit had started out innocently enough. I called T from my car after class on Wednesday, he requested I stop by to visit with him, it had been over a year since I had last spent any time with him. (With the exception of the brief conversation outside the social security office.)

We talked about our daughter, her birth, my pregnancy, my plans for the future. Even though I didn't say anything, I had noticed how much his appearance had changed. His hair was beginning to grey, he had put on some weight.

T had noticed how much I had changed as well. Gone was my long hair, I am now sporting a chic new shorter hairstyle that he had immediately noticed and commented several times on how pretty it looked. I purposely wore one of my nicest, sexiest outfits just to torture him.

It worked.

Maybe a little too well.... After talking for several moments he had stood up and walked over to me, leaning down, "I'm sorry [woman with a secret], I can't help how much I'm attracted to you." His right hand had cupped my left breast as he gently kissed my lips.

I turned away, but he did not relent. His lips had resumed the gentle kissing upon my neck and ear. .

I could not resist.

Before I knew it I was kissing him in return, stroking his cock with the palm of my hand. The sound of footsteps could be heard outside his door, but I did not care. Placing my hands upon his shoulders, I pulled him down to me and moaned to him I wanted more.

I wanted him to fuck me.

Smiling, he asked me what I wanted him to do, then kissed me gently on the back of the neck.

"I want you to take your pants off," I quietly demanded. In a second his pants were gone, along with any underwear he had been wearing. Taking his balls in one hand, I stroked the bare skin of his cock with the other as he kissed the top of my head.

"Let's have sex, baby," he begged me. I stood before him, my mind clouded with lust, and removed my boots while T removed my pants. His hand stroked my pussy gently through the thin material of my panties as I once again took my seat, this time sliding my fanny up to the edge of the chair.

With one leg positioned on the chair next to me, T knelt before me, pulling my panties to the side and sliding his hard cock in as far as it would go.

Damn it if I couldn't get enough of him!

I wanted so much more. With each thrust I wanted yet another one, I wrapped my right leg about his waist pulling him to me, kissed him passionately as he held me tight. My chair slid back several inches when he had begged me to cum for him, when his secretary had knocked at the locked door.

"[T]?" she was wondering what he was up to.

"Just a second," stopping momentarily, it was barely noticeable in his response that he was at the height of arousal. Except to me. I could hear it, the way he had to clear his throat twice before he answered her, the way his voice cracked during the word 'just'.

My chair slid back dramatically this time as he emptied his cock inside me. For a long moment he rested, his cock throbbing deep inside me.

"I'm going to have to go, you know. I think you have a client," I kissed his cheek as he withdrew from me, then quickly dressed and left.

I can't understand why I continue to punish myself like this.... Why do I always want the things I can not have?

The New Guy

2008-03-10T20:43:00.002-04:00

I caught a glimpse of him staring in my direction.

He is such a beautiful man......

His bright brown eyes danced in the light of the sun. Pretending to be unaware, I accidentally 'catch' his gaze with my own, then smile shyly, sweetly. He smiles in return.

"Hi there," he is leaning down to speak quietly in my ear, his left hand is resting upon my shoulder.

"Hi," I return. His scent is absolutely captivating.

I can feel my face growing warm, blushing, unable to stop. Looking away, nervous tension prevents me from looking into his eyes.

Slowly making it's way from my shoulder to my ass, his palm cups my rear as we retreat to have a few drinks.

Playing with Fire

2008-03-06T11:40:00.003-05:00

I have lost my mind, God help me, I can't imagine what I'm thinking!

I have been in contact with T for a couple of weeks now. It all started when we accidentally seen each other outside his office.

Last summer I decided to get a new car, something good on gas, something with a low payment because, as we all know, I lost my job in November. The only thing is, I know very little about it, still, even after 6 months of driving it, and end up 'discovering' a little perk to the car when I least expect it.

So, there I was, sitting outside the Social Security office trying to fenagle a diaper bag, a purse, a portfolio containing identification information to allow me to apply for my daughter's social security card, and a baby carrier when I accidentally hit the door lock button on the key chain. Not realizing the button had been pushed, I tried to open the driver's side door one more time to grasp a paper from the front seat.

Instant chaos.

Apparently the car is equipped with an anti theft device of some sort and when I tried to open the door the horn started blowing LOUDLY.

I had no idea what to do next. With my arms full I fumbled around with the key chain and ended up dropping it on the ground along with the portfolio containing all my documents. By now my daughter had started crying and I was about to cry myself when I felt a hand tap my shoulder and turned to find T handing me my car keys.

"Oh my God, what are you doing here?" I looked down at the baby carrier, my mind went completely blank.

"That's my office over there," he said, pointing across the street. "I got a promotion, I'm now working with outpatient services." His eyes had now averted down to the baby carrier. "I've been watching you for the past couple of minutes.... Is that her?"

"Yes." I could barely hear myself, my only instinct was to flee. Somehow I managed to get the car horn to stop and collect myself enough to think clearly again.

"[woman with a secret], I was scared. I didn't know what to do..... I haven't been able to get you off my mind. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you over here." He seemed so genuine, he was still staring at the tiny pink bundle in the baby carrier.

"I was scared too. I think it may be hard for you, but imagine how I feel. She is going to be with me for the rest of my life, I can't just turn my back and imagine she doesn't exist." T's eyes were beginning to tear. Remorse was beginning to set in on my part.

"I'm so sorry [woman with a secret]. I would give anything to see her," he was pleading with his eyes now, his brow creased.

Carefully pulling the blanket aside, I allowed him to see her tiny little face, asleep with her right hand next to her face.

"Oh my God she's beautiful. I can't believe how beautiful she is...." he stared at her, knelt down before her, for the longest time.

I have been in contact with T ever since. While that has been the only time I've actually seen him, we have talked nearly every day.

I know this is the last thing on earth I should be doing, but, God help me, I can't stop myself.

What do you do.....

2008-01-22T15:09:00.000-05:00

when your sex life is non existent?

I'm becoming depressed. I can feel the weight of the world baring down on me, oppressive and cruel. It has been a few years since I've felt this way, I had almost forgotten how sad my life could truly be.

I spend my days with my new daughter now that I'm not working, at least the days in which I don't have class.

I long to find the right man to be with, but I haven't the courage to do so.

Merry Christmas to Me

2007-12-27T00:23:00.000-05:00

My naked neighbor stopped by today to see the baby and wish me a merry Christmas.

Oooh la la!

I know very little about this guy, but I do know one thing, my neighbor is quite possibly one of the most attractive men I've ever met. His wife, on the other hand, not so attractive. While I'm certain she's likely the same age as her husband, she looks an easy 10 years older then he. Perhaps it was the short grey hair, or the taper legged jeans.....

Little did she know the entire time she sat on my couch making small talk about my beautiful little angel I was sneaking glances at her husband, picturing him naked.

A Breather

2007-12-05T21:25:00.000-05:00

I ventured out of the house yesterday for the first time since the baby was born.

It certainly did feel exhilarating.

It's amazing just how trapped and overwhelmed a woman can feel when she allows herself to be imprisoned in her home. I can see now there is no way I would ever be able to be a home maker or stay at home Mom. I would assuredly go insane.

The young guy at the car wash was flirting with me yesterday, I haven't lost my touch I see. Good to know considering it has been only 2 weeks since my daughters birth and I'm certainly not feeling all that attractive.

While I'm quite positive I wouldn't actually pursue this guy, I'm more then happy to flirt with him in order to get the fancy super wash for the price of the basic wash. The fact that he's fairly attractive doesn't hurt, either.

Mother's Little Helper

2007-12-03T09:39:00.000-05:00

At the moment, it's Vicodin.

I miss my sleep, especially right now. My eyes are sunken in, dark circles have made a permanent appearance beneath them. My head is aching, throbbing actually, it has taken 2 vicodin to take the edge off the searing pain.

The boys have had a snow day today, my house is in a shambles right now, but I don't have the energy to pick it up. I think, for now, I'll just sit here and relax, my daughter asleep in the cradle beside me, my feet kicked up in the Lazy Boy.

I would give anything for just a little help once in a while.

The Changes

2007-11-30T09:37:00.000-05:00

I've had my baby, a little girl. She is the cutest most precious thing in my life right now.

Yet, I am sad.

I was asleep on the couch this morning, not sure what I was dreaming about, but I awoke in tears. She was starting to rustle, hungry and in need of a change.

I started to cry even harder, not because of the baby, but because I felt as though my life was over. That suffocating, overwhelming, heavy feeling has settled in my core, I'm unable to shake it.

Lustful Need

2007-10-26T16:27:00.000-04:00

I masturbated to fantasies of you as I showered this morning.

I'm certain you have no idea what naughty little details swirled around in my mind as I slowly caressed the delicate folds of skin between my thighs. Eyes closed, breathless, warm water pelted the length of my body as I imagined us together, as I imagined your cock deep inside me, thrusting.

As I imagined my lips upon yours, your lips upon mine.

The Wonder of Marriage

2007-10-21T07:58:00.000-04:00

I am perpetually amazed at how ingenious my husband is at finding fault with every single thing I do. It certainly isn't easy going through life constantly reminded of your every last flaw.

The Husband and I argued over side dishes from Kentucky Fried Chicken last night. When I say argue, I mean argue, tooth and nail, screaming and crying.

He had assumed I was just going to pick up chicken, needless to say, I picked up a whole meal. Had he listened to anything I had said earlier in the day when we had actually discussed what we were going to have for dinner, the mix up would never have happened.

There in lies the problem....

It is a problem that has always been between us. To him, I am insignificant, nothing I have to say or do is ever as important as what he currently has on his mind. Several times his actions have come back to haunt me.

"Why didn't you tell me!" he normally yells when he has missed an appointment or messed up a meeting.

"What do you mean? I did tell you, that day you were......" I valiantly try to cleanse my credibility.

"Oh no you didn't, I would remember something like that!" he is condescending and arrogant by now.

"Perhaps if you would take a moment to listen to what I have to say once in a while, rather then blow me off like a fucking piece of shit, this situation would not happen!" at this I turn on my heel, tears streaming, wishing to God I could just disappear.

I knew the instant I got home it was going to be one of those moments. I could smell food smells coming from the kitchen, he had taken it upon himself to cook up some side dishes for the chicken.

The look on his face when I appeared in the kitchen with more then just chicken was a look of disgust.

"I don't know why I even bother wasting my time doing shit around here," he mumbled under his breath. "You just take the lazy way out every time anyway."

"Lazy way? Lazy way! I'm 8 months pregnant, or have you forgotten that?? I feel like I want to die most of the time to begin with, why in the hell do you think I want to stand around in a kitchen cooking for an hour after working all day?" I was furious. How dare he. I know from the depths of my soul that had I not shown up with anything but chicken, he would not have been in the kitchen making a thing. I can't help but wonder if he did this on purpose.

He was the one who wanted to come back, to make things work out. I didn't, I never did. I knew this would be the way it would be, once again. He promised it would be different, but I had heard that all before.

Straps and Safety Harnesses Required

2007-10-18T16:09:00.000-04:00

It has to be said that the individuals I work with are each unique and bazaar in their own way, definitely worth working with on even their worst days.

With the plant closing comes long days with very little to fill them. We have been left, pretty much, to our own devices, to create work to fill our days until our last.

Probably not a good thing when it comes to 'the gang', the group of misfits I call my friends. It is only in our group we could have such stimulating conversations about safety signs and hot dogs.

While it is not in my usual character to join in on potlucks and such at work, I decided today, because there are only 2 weeks of employment left for us, that I would do just that. After carefully scanning the food and analyzing who brought what and what was safe to eat I noticed, at the end of the table, a tin foil tray full of gigantic hot dogs.

Unable to keep my thoughts to myself, I return to the lunch table we had perched at and comment about the 'ginormous' hot dogs at the end of the table.

The conversation immediately heads for the gutter.

My cube mate laughs, and comments about their 'sheer size'. D, the gay man in the group, decides to comment on how the 'buns' are cringing with fear over the magnitude of the hot dogs girth and weight.

We are laughing, hysterically, and almost don't notice a passerby has picked up part of our conversation and does not realize we are in fact being lude and crude.

"I know," she says innocently. "These are great hot dogs! You don't normally find them this big, I can barely get my mouth around them." Peels of laughter come from our table. "They are quite the value! I need to find out where they were purchased," she has started trailing off, in search of her own group of friends.

Trying very hard, I somehow manage to gather a straight face, and pull one of the manufacturing magazines from the rack sitting beside us.

"There's something missing, I think," I state. Everyone is, by now, looking intently at me, wondering just what in the heck I'm doing. It was at this point that I opened the magazine to a page I had seen previously and somehow remembered. It was a page with a giant sign that read 'Straps and Safety Harnesses Required'.

"Someone could dislocate a jaw if they're not careful, a sign like this could save a life." Unable to stop myself, I continued, "especially if they are inexperienced at having such large objects placed in their mouths."

Have camera phone, will travel.

2007-10-12T16:35:00.000-04:00

I've been flirting again with J. Shame on me, I can't help myself. I smile to myself as I read his emails, his shameless sexual innuendo and corny jokes.

I'm secretly hoping he will leave his wife.

Today at work I was forced to entertain quite possibly the most disgusting man on earth. He was a truck driver for an independent contract carrier who has been hired to haul yet more machinery and tooling from my plant.

I can't help but wonder where they scrape these people up from.

As I sat at my desk, staring in disgust, I could literally see his entire hairy ass hanging out for the world to see.

(While I may still be suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome, the doctor has assured me the involuntary head twitching will not be permanent.)

After several scratches, and 1 finger sniff, the man eventually pulled his pants up about his waist, ending my daytime nightmare.

Luckily, as resourceful as I am, I was able to capture the entire episode on cam, passing along my grotesque find to J, as I was sure he would enjoy it as much as I.

He did.

He thinks I'm kinky.

Perhaps I am.

Through the corner of my eye.....

2007-09-27T18:25:00.000-04:00

...I saw him standing, naked, before his bedroom window.

He is my next door neighbor, I've met him only once.

Without hesitation he turned and faced me as I drove past his window in the early morning darkness.

Could he see me openly staring at him?

My thoughts immediately switched to sex, sex with him in particular. What I wouldn't have given for a ride on that long, hard, chiseled cock I was fantasizing about.

And the glass was half empty......

2007-09-24T19:21:00.000-04:00

I'm working late tonight, I do most nights anymore. I don't want to go home. The sound of a pen clicking a few cubicles down has been driving me crazy for the past 5 minutes.

The bull pen is so empty these days..... Most of my coworkers have already found new employment, but a handful of us still remain. I look at them and wonder, at times, what will become of them. For 11 years I've worked with most of them, it's sad to see our final days have drawn close.

I still can't believe, even after all my company has been through, that they have made the decision to close down my plant.

I'm fairly certain I couldn't get more miserable.

Physically miserable with pregnancy related aches and pains, emotionally miserable at the thought that I shall soon be pregnant and jobless, miserable right to the core living a life that I don't want to live.

I feel alone.

The funny thing is, nobody notices. I smile my fake smile and spread my pretend cheer, I listen to others as they reveal their problems to me, I offer support even when I'm so overwhelmed I can barely breathe.

The Lure of a Pregnant Belly

2007-09-20T07:53:00.000-04:00

I find it completely unnerving how people want to 'touch' my belly all the time.

By 'touch' I mean stand before me with both hands groping and feeling my belly for several moments in hopes of feeling movement of some kind.

All of this, I might add, without even one request for consent.

Thank God I have only 2 more months to go.

This morning I was approached by one of my fellow coworkers, a 350lb dufus who is not only completely unable to keep his pants around his waist but also unable to find a t-shirt to cover his ginormous belly.

Immediately he is inquiring about my health, telling me how pregnant women are the most beautiful creatures on earth.

If I could have, I would have completely disappeared from the face of the earth.

I smiled, thanked him for the compliment, and tried my best to escape to my desk.

Just the thought of him laying a finger on me is enough to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

I'm Back

2007-09-16T17:07:00.000-04:00

Because I have used this blog as an outlet to my thoughts, fears, and experiences, I feel as thought I need to once again utilize my one and only means of unburdening my soul.

I am now 7 months pregnant, and completely miserable. I carry the secret of my child's birth father with me, and probably will for the rest of my life. I am unable to, make that unwilling to contact him, for any reason, a fact that has probably made the birth fathers life increasingly easy.

Unfortunately it has made my life a complete misery. With the identity of my child's father a complete mystery to everyone, it has become an unending quest for anyone who knows me to unconsciously pull any form of information that may lead to an answer from me.

I have become quite ingenioius with my responses, I must say. To date, my best response came last week. One of my good friends, a flaming gay engineer who I work with, and I were chatting with the receptionist in the front office when she asked me, quite bluntly, who the father was.

"Why, it's D, here, didn't you hear?" I replied, placing my head on his shoulder. The look on her face was priceless, but, I must say, the look on D's face was even better.

Odd as it is to say, I have grown to respect my friendship with J. While he and I had only the brief fling, he has remained my friend through this all. Emailing me regularly to ask me about 'his critter', I know he feels genuine concern, something nobody else does. I do find it odd, however, that he always refers to my child as his own.

Perhaps he wishes it could be......

Alas the cards were not stacked in that direction. A harlott I can be, but I would not break up anothers marriage for my own sake. If J were to become single, once again, I would entertain the thought. As long as he is married, however, I must stay hands off, I respect our friendship much to much to cause such pain and turmoil.

I do not hear from R at all anymore. It is my own doing, that I know. I pushed him away, and, away he went. I sometimes wonder just how things would have turned out had I went to Atlana with him, when he had asked me.

I try my best not to dwell.

But it's so hard, I think of him often.

I think of R when I'm sitting at home, wondering why in the heck, as I watch my husband, did I take my husband back? I am miserable with him, yet I allowed him back into my life.

Was I scared?

Was I lonely?

I can't explain it.

I do know he needs me more then I will ever need him. He clings to me, I feel, because I am strong. He feeds on my strength.

Our sex life is non existant, I am aware that I will undoubtedly find a new playmate once this child has been born.

This time, I will be much more aware of what I'm doing.

Can pregnant be sexy?

2007-04-14T20:36:00.000-04:00

Perhaps I have too much time on my hands tonight.... I find myself sitting here, depressed, shopping online for maternity wear.

At just 10 weeks I'm already outgrowing all of my clothing. It is visibly apparent I'm sporting a baby bump, I can only imagine what I'm going to look like full term.

I have often wondered what men think when they see a pregnant woman. In the case of my husband, he always seen me as 'untouchable'. He treated me like glass, careful and delicate, afraid the slightest touch would do harm. I found myself always wanting more, a firm touch, passionate sex, the feeling of lustful desire.

The urges do not disappear just because a life is growing within you, in fact, they become more intense.

I worry about what lies before me and how my life will undoubtedly change.

It is Official

2007-04-08T17:57:00.000-04:00

I am with child.

As much as I dreaded the thought, I ended up telling T about the pregnancy on Friday. So many things passed through my mind as I was doing so, my emotions have gotten the better of me these past few weeks I must say.

Then I slept with him.

I have no idea what I was thinking......

As I was laying on the bed, my back to his retreating form, he called to me over his shoulder as he entered the bathroom. He had asked me if I was certain I was pregnant because I had started bleeding while we were having sex.

Disbelief in my voice, I asked him if he were sure. Pointing out a bloody penis to me, he told me he was sure. Instant terror gripped me, he seemed completely unconcerned. I have not heard from him since.

It was the vigorous sex that had caused the bleeding, I'm quite certain. I have not exhibied the bleeding since.

Even the smartest and best of us make unwise decisions at time.

One thing about Friday did make me smile, however. In an email conversation with J I had revealed I was praying for a girl this time. He had replied back that he hoped it would be a girl too and that she would inherit my beautiful laugh.

I do miss J more then he knows.

An End

2007-03-26T19:58:00.000-04:00

I have broken things off with T....

It did not end well, I have decided to keep my suspected health situation to myself. Although I am now quite certain I am indeed pregnant, I have chosen to keep this knowledge to myself until I have officially visited my obgyn next Wednesday.

Bored on a Saturday

2007-03-24T19:15:00.000-04:00

I am so very bored today.....

I'm not liking this at all. While at first I was captivated by T, I am now slightly disillusioned to the whole thing.

Perhaps I am selfish, perhaps I am not, either way, I want more. I want more then just his spare time, I want his full attention.

Something I can not have.

It's time for me to move on, time to find the individual who can inspire me to write again, or at the very least, time to find someone who will give me something to write about.

This may be put on hold, however, for this morning I had symptoms of morning sickness. Even though the pregnancy tests had returned a negative response, I have yet to start my period, and I am now feeling ill in the morning hours.

Happy HNT

2007-03-22T19:28:00.000-04:00

From the corner of my eye......

2007-03-20T11:51:00.000-04:00

I see you watching me, discreetly.

I wonder what you are thinking, your chair turned ever so slightly in my direction. I see your reflection in the monitor before me, head turned, gazing in my direction. Nobody is around, but you do not have the courage to talk to me.

I take advantage of the situation.

On 'accident' my pen falls beside my chair, the side facing you. I lean down, absently, to retrieve the pen, my peasant blouse falling away exposing a good portion of my breasts to you. I know you are looking, I know you have seen, your breathing has given you away. It is now louder, deeper.

I turn back to my monitor in time to see your reflection stand quickly and leave quietly.

To where, I can only guess, as I smile into my own reflection on the monitor before me.

Just a Peek at the Lady with a Secret

2007-03-19T19:10:00.000-04:00

The Handsome Stranger

2007-03-19T18:39:00.000-04:00

I find myself attracted to someone I have never met, someone whom I've only once spoken briefly to on the phone, someone whom I've only seen in a photo.

But it has happened.

He reads this blog, this is how we first met. In a sweet little email he contacted me one day, telling me how much he liked my writing, my pictures. I couldn't help but reply back, intrigued, curious to hear more. Months have now gone by, with each passing day I wonder how he is, what he is doing.

I do not tell him this.

Instead I flirt with him, tease him, tell him about my day. I smile when he responds in turn, wishing for just a little more.

Maybe one day I will get my chance to have, just a little more.

(Yes, Cabana Boy, this post is about you.)

Tasty Tuesday

2007-03-16T17:53:00.000-04:00

I flashed him my wicked little smile, kneeling before him, slowly smoothing my hand over the hardening bulge in the front of his slacks.

"God I've missed you," his words were barely audible as he sat with his head back, eyes shut.

"I've missed you too," I replied, gently squeezing his cock and stroking through the material of his slacks.

Leaning into me, his hands traveled up the length of my body, beneath my silk top, resting finally upon the soft skin of my breasts, kneading them in his palms.

"You have the most fantastic titties," he laughed, smiling mischievously at me, pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefingers.

"Why, thank you Handsome," flinging my blouse to the other side of his office, I leaned in and kissed him hard upon the lips. Unable to hold out any longer, I quickly stripped him naked, eager to fuck him silly.

"I want to feel that wet pussy," he moaned, my mouth sliding up and down the length of his cock.

Standing before him, I quickly removed the remainder of my clothes before finally sitting upon his lap, facing him, legs spread to each side of him.

Aching desperately for him, my back arched dramatically as he slowly slid his finger between the folds of my skin.

"You're so wet baby," he whispered, his lips traveled across my neck and chest before finding their way to my own.

"I'm wet for you baby," my hips thrust into his hand, my teeth biting gently at his lower lip, my right hand slowly stroking his ever hardening cock.

A Sweet Little Note

2007-03-11T19:08:00.000-04:00

(the below text taken from an email from T this morning)

HI baby,
I really miss you terribly
and am dieing to see you. I hope to hear from you.
T

I'm dying to see him as well, it has been 2 weeks since we were together last. 2 weeks of hunger, 2 weeks of lust, 2 weeks of want.

Our meeting Tuesday is an eternity away.

Prognosis Negative

2007-03-11T18:51:00.000-04:00

While I am absolutely relieved that I am indeed, NOT pregnant, I'm baffled at the same time.

It is now 11 days past due, and no period in sight. No PMS, no nothing.

So, here I sit, on a sunny Sunday afternoon, researching possible causes of my missed period. I know it isn't menopause, I'm only 32 years old. I'm not pregnant, both tests, taken on 2 separate days, have both come back negative. I'm at a loss.

I have read an article, however, that has given me a plausible reason for my missed period.

Stress.

Believe it or not, a woman who is under great amounts of stress will from time to time miss her menstrual flow. As wacky as this sounds, I am prone to believe this theory. I have been under so much stress for the past few weeks that I've literally reached the point of insanity and somehow made my way back.

Only time will tell, I am eager to see what next month brings.

Fear

2007-03-07T18:28:00.000-05:00

I believe I may be in trouble. And.... not the good kind.

Because T is still shooting live rounds, I have taken it upon myself to ensure I can not get pregnant by our secret meetings. Twice now I have gone to the doctor on the precise day required for the birth control shot, up until this moment, everything had gone according to clockwork.

Until this month.

I have missed my period and fear the worst. Even though I have yet to take a home pregnancy test, I know something is wrong. Every month, beginning the month I got my first shot, I have started my period within the first 4 days of the month. It is now day 7 and PMS signs are nowhere in sight.

At first I believed February's short month had thrown off my schedule. It is now the 7th and I no longer believe this to be the case. I cross my fingers and hope for the best but I fear the worst.

Tomorrow I shall officially put my fears to rest. I will be purchasing a home pregnancy test and facing my fears.

Anyone who may still be reading this blog, please cross your fingers for me.

Afternoon Delight

2006-12-19T14:59:00.000-05:00

I spent the entire day with T today....

In T's words, "You really know how to wear out an old guy." I had fun doing so, and explained to him that was my goal. I then chastised him, 42 was most certainly not old!

His intricacies intrigue me, I find myself unconsciously studying him, trying to decipher what makes him tick.

T has a thing for panties, I was told this time HE would be the one to remove them. In our last encounter, I had yanked my panties off in a lustful tizzy, unable to wait for him to remove them for me.

This time, I waited. Anxiously, wantonly, barely able to contain myself from ripping them off once again, yet I waited.

With my pink lace panties still in place, he slid his hand inside, inserting 2 fingers deep, thrusting until I was warm with need for him and the moans came one after another for him.

My hips lifted from the bed with each thrust of his hand, I placed my left foot on his hard cock and began stroking him in unison with his thrusts.

"You're gonna make me cum baby," he moaned out.

"Oh... not yet," I pouted a little, the left foot remained exactly where it was.

"God I love how you wrap me around your little finger," he growled out, removing his fingers to tear off my panties.

Smiling wickedly up at him as he knelt before me, I turned over on my hands and knees, spreading my legs wide. Strong hands held my shoulders as he thrusted between my legs, entering me with one stroke.

Unable to stop myself, I wiggled my hips from side to side, pushing back into him, my loins ached for release.

I came with his finger in my ass hole, his cock in my pussy, and his right hand pulling my hair.

I loved every second of it.

Someone New

2006-12-16T22:00:00.000-05:00

I've begun a scandalous affair with a man I will call T.

By scandalous I refer to the fact that he is a substance abuse counselor who works in a rehabilitation center, all the while, attending college classes to obtain his masters degree. He is married with 2 kids, if found out, our little affair could possibly ruin his life.

Needless to say, it's a good thing I'm so good with secrets.

I can't help but smile, at this moment, as I think back to our 'meeting' Tuesday night. Late again, I was driving entirely too fast when my phone ran. It was T and I was 5 minutes late already.

T thrives on promptness, I am entirely turned on by this fact.

Pouting a little, I explained to him how my meeting had run late, I would be there as soon as I could, and I would most certainly make it up to him for his inconvenience.

Which I had done, gladly....

We agreed to meet at the hotel, he had been watching through the window, anxiously awaiting my arrival. He was perched at the top of the stairwell, in the foyer, when I finally passed through the front double doors. Looking up, I couldn't help but smile at his devilish smile beaming down at me. So handsome, his dockers were neatly pressed, his dark green button down shirt crisp and fresh.

Placing an arm about my waist as he met me at the stairs, he asked how my drive was, then asked what color panties I was wearing.

I had worn the red ones, just as he requested.

They didn't remain on me for very long. Upon entering the room, I found myself inside his embrace, his hands cupping my ass, pulling it toward him as he thrust his hardening cock toward me.

T undressed me as I undressed him, his cock firmly in my grasp as we lay down beside each other on the bed. Our kisses were electric, tingles traveled through me as he kissed his way across my neck and chest, his lips finally resting on my right breast, suckling the nipple, lightly biting at it.

My hand was wet with the precum that was now continuously oozing. Pushing up on all fours, I licked his balls slowly, gently sliding my toungue up until I was at the head of his cock. He was wet and salty, my tongue circled around his head until I had tasted him completely. Squeezing the base of his cock with my hand, I placed the head of his cock in my mouth and sucked in gently, slowly.

"I want inside you," he moaned.

Depression

2006-11-02T18:27:00.000-05:00

Since R has begun his latest project in Atlanta things seem to have steadily gone downhill for me.

I miss him so much, way too much. And, I've broken things off with him, telling him to finish his project, we'll see where things are at when he is back full time.

What was I thinking??

Now I am alone, with the exception of J, my play thing. I tease him, string him along, yet he continues to stay right there, right where I want him.

I was sitting at my desk today, head in my hands for a moment, wondering just what the hell it is I'm doing with my life, when he appeared, pulling out a chair to sit down next to me.

"You ok today?" he placed his left hand on my back, leaning in to hear what I had to say.

"Yes, I was just thinking," I could feel myself staring absently into his eyes.

"You're presentation went very well this morning," he was smiling, trying to reassure me. "Oh, the coffee, yum yum!"

"I didn't know what kind you liked. It was bold, I told the lady behind the counter you looked like a bold kind of guy," smiling, finally, something had gotten my mind off of R.

"Bold, huh...." puffing out his chest, I could see the machismo building in his ego.

My back was growing warm where his hand rested upon it, giggling, I leaned into him just a touch more. "Such a comic, you can always make me smile."

"I wish you would let me do more then just make you smile," sliding his hand from my back to my shoulder, he squeezed it quickly then stood.

My old self would have taken him up on the offer in a heart beat. I want my old self back.

At the Office

2006-10-03T11:55:00.000-04:00

Ignoring the phone as it rang beside me, I stared blankly at the computer screen before me. I have so much to do and no ambition to do it, I hate when I'm unhappy.

"What's the matter babe," he said to me, snapping me back to reality. Spinning my chair around to face him, J knelt down before me.

"I'm fine," my tone was light and airy, but he could tell from my expression it was not how I felt.

"Now, you don't look so fine," placing his hands upon my thighs, he leaned in to look into my eyes. "I'm sorry I was acting like such and asshole, you didn't deserve it."

Smiling just a little, I looked away from him, then placed my own hands upon his. "It's ok."

"It's not ok, let me make it up to you, what do you say?" Looking once more into his eyes, I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Ok," J returned back to the standing position at the sound of footsteps headed in our direction.

With a wink he headed back to his desk.

When all else fails......

2006-09-30T18:44:00.000-04:00

a girls night out will fix what ails.

For the first time since I have known him, R is not speaking with me. With his job, he has been doing an incredible amount of traveling these past few weeks, traveling which has left him resentful and lonely. I could tell in his phone calls he was missing home, missing me.

When he asked that I travel with him last week, I was forced to turn down the request. Work obligations of my own kept me here, work obligations that I just couldn't, with good conscious, get out of.

R became completely irate. Also something I have never before seen in the time that I have known him. Slamming the door, he charged off to his car and that was the last I seen or heard of him.

I'm lost now, I miss him so much.

Seeing my gloom, my cubicle mate requested I join her at the bar last night for drinks with a few of our coworkers. I gladly accepted, all in all it had been a horrible week, I was in need of alcohol consumption.

We sat at the bar for about an hour, laughing and chatting, when the bar tender slid a drink before me and announced the man at the table in the corner had bought me a drink.

A smile crept across my lips as I slowly turned to glance in the direction of the unknown man. Slipping him a tiny wave of thanks, I lifted my drink and mouthed the words 'thank you'. Nodding his head in return, he finished up the drink that sat before him then stood, walking our way.

"Hi there," my heart raced as he leaned up against the bar beside me, all 4 of my companions staring in our direction.

"Hello, how are you this evening?" I laughed, nervous laughter, I wasn't expecting a situation such as this. An elbow jabbed me in the side but I didn't turn to look.

"I'm better now that I've found some decent company," a barrage of giggles came from behind me, I tried hard to hold back my utter embarrassment at my coworkers junior high behavior.

"Well then.... why don't you take a seat and join us," patting the seat beside me, I smiled up in his direction. This was exactly the distraction I was in need of.

Havoc in the Work Place

2006-09-28T16:40:00.000-04:00

A jealousy has developed between J and the new engineer that started last week.

B, as I will call the new engineer, stopped in his tracks at our initial introduction, becoming somewhat tongue tied and awkward. Smiling, I shook his hand and welcomed him to the company.

He has been like fly paper from that day on.

His interest in me could not be more obvious, my cube mate has begun to tease me relentlessly about the conversations she has had the fortune to overhear.

*B was married and is now happily divorced for the past 7 years. In his opinion he is now more then ready for a woman and this time next year he will no longer be single.
*B has great respect for me because I'm a single mother making my way through life on my own. He has offered to come to my house and fix my TV antenna, loan me a movie about snowflakes and cedars, and sell anything I need selling on eBay.
*B has, on several occasions, taken extreme measures to tell me about how he participates in the Big Brother program and has a 14 year old boy that he mentors, and has mentored for the past 4 years.
*B has ensured me he lives in the nicest house on his road. He also mentioned one man lives in a barn with his chickens, 1 family lives in a trailer house that is constantly raided by the police, and the last man peeks in his windows to see what he is up to.
*B buys things at yard sales and sells them on eBay for thousands of dollars. He has also started to write a book entitled "The Next Big Find". Unable to contain my laughter at this admission, I was completely at a loss when he began talking about how we planned to take a chest on 'The Antiques Roadshow'.
*B has shot a gun into the air in his back yard to loosen snow on his metal roof, causing it to slide off.
*B watches Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and Lost weekly, he can carry on the conversations to prove it as well.

So, as I have mentioned, J has become visibly jealous over the whole situation. On several occasions he has sent B off on a wild goose chase just to keep him occupied with something other then myself. He has also made his presence keenly obvious as well.

As unusual as this may sound, coming from me, I'm a little embarrassed about the attention it has drawn.

As you all well know, I prefer to operate in the back ground, mystery and secrecy motivating my actions.

This is a new one to me.

Mysterious Stranger

2006-09-26T15:13:00.000-04:00

A sly smile forms upon my lips at the sight of his reply. Exhilaration courses through my veins at the thought of this man, a man I have only known through a series of emails.

I fantasize about meeting with him, I fantasize about hot, sweaty, sultry sex that leaves me aching, that leaves me hungry for more.

His words, words that I just can't seem to get out of my mind as I patiently wait for the next reply.

The Cabin

2006-09-23T17:47:00.000-04:00

The soft glow from the fire was the only light in the room as I entered. In my most seductive prance I crossed the room, smiling mischieviously at him.

His eyes were upon me, watching my every move, a mischievious smile playing across his lips as well.

"I love it when you wear stockings," he groaned, pulling me onto his lap.

"I know you do...." I giggled, kissing his cheek. His hand immediately found its way between my thighs, rubbing and stroking, as I found his lips with my own.

Turning to face him, I remained sitting on his lap, my legs apart, bent at the knee. Pulling me to him, he wrapped his arms about the small of my back, grinding himself between my parted legs.

"Make love to me [woman with a secret]," he breathed into my ear, biting gently on my ear lobe.

"Ok," I moaned, the ache for him nearly unbearable, the craving to feel him pumping inside me my every thought.

A Night of Play

2006-09-17T17:21:00.000-04:00

His fingers gripped my shoulders like a vice as he pounded me from behind, pulling me to him and thrusting hard. Our intermingled juices dripped from between my legs, this was not our first session between the sheets this evening.

One elbow slipped out from beneath me as he continued to get harder and rougher with his thrusts, his groans becoming growls.

"Roll over baby," he snapped, withdrawing just long enough for me to turn and face him. Pulling my dampened hair away from my face, he buried his own in the crook of my neck, kissing and sucking at the tender skin. "God you smell good...." he groaned, moving his attentions lower, licking the skin around my nipple, then gently biting it.

My legs clamped around his waist when I could hold back no more, coming hard all over his cock, as he held it inside me and slowly ground his pelvis into mine.

"Aaaah, that's my girl," he crooned into my ear, kissing my cheek, the rough play from only seconds earlier replaced by gentle tenderness. Rolling into his open arm, I placed my head on his chest and closed my eyes, slightly trembling and overcome with sleepiness. I fell asleep to the gentle rhythm of his hand stroking the soft skin of my back.

Much Needed TLC

2006-09-16T15:03:00.000-04:00

"I thought you weren't going to stop by tonight?" I exclaimed, running out on to the front porch, smiles from ear to ear. I had spoken with R on the phone earlier and explained to him that I wasn't feeling well, I had told him to go home and rest, we could make plans for Saturday. Oddly, even though I had been the one to tell him not to come over, what I really wanted was for him to do it anyway.

"Look at you, it's no wonder you're sick, running out here barefoot and barely dressed." Kissing my forehead, he wrapped an arm about my waist and pulled me to him, something I had needed more then anything.

"I'm so glad you stopped by," eyes watering, I held back a sneeze only to begin coughing uncontrollably.

"Come on, let's get in the house. It's too cold out here for you to be half naked," rubbing my arms with his hands, his eyes staring openly at the hard nipples protruding through the thin material of my t-shirt. A cool breeze blew against my bare legs, causing me to shiver.

"You'll just have to warm me up," I teased as we stepped through the door, his hand slipping from my waist to my rear.

"Why don't I run you a bath, then, we snuggle in for the night?" he kissed my forehead again, allowing his lips to linger against my skin.

"That sounds perfect," I hugged on to him like a delighted child who had just gotten her way.

Fun in the Shower

2006-09-13T20:57:00.000-04:00

My entire body ached as I climbed into the shower, it had been such a long day, my mind was screaming for relaxation. The steaming hot water pelted my skin as I forced myself to forget the events of the day, a day that had left me near exhaustion.

“You got a package in the mail,” his voice putting a smile on my face, I knew exactly what package he was talking about.

“Oh, goodie! Why don’t you open it up, maybe we can have a little fun,” just the thought of my new toys had given me a second wind. Peeking from behind the shower curtain, I could see him tear into the rectangular box, producing from within an assortment of erotic oils, and a battery powered finger vibe.

“What have you been up to, Little Lady?” the devilish smile on his lips sent goose bumps across my skin. Flashing him my own naughty grin, I pulled open the shower curtain and beckoned for him to join me.

“Why don’t we try out the finger vibe, shall we?” kissing his shoulder as he climbed into the shower, my left hand slid down to slowly rub between my suddenly aching thighs.

Sliding the finger vibe on the index finger of his right hand, he held me tight about the waist with his left, savagely kissing my tender lips and neck. Placing the vibe between my legs, I moaned aloud from the instant arousal I felt.

“Mmmmm…… Don’t stop Honey Man,” I begged, my nails embedded into the soft flesh of his back as I clutched on to him, bracing myself for support.

“This is definitely something we’ll be using often,” I moaned between kisses, eager for yet more experimentation. By the smile on his face, I could see he was in total agreement.

Something to Occupy my Time

2006-09-12T12:38:00.000-04:00

I don't like to be bored, the day crawls by at a snails pace.

My mind wanders and I begin to fantasize about things I should not, the new tech who has just been hired, the mysterious stranger who I have recently started to correspond with, the handsome guy who I happened to catch glancing at me while I hurried through the parking lot at the gas station this morning.

Thoughts and questions materialize on how they spend their day, what are their innermost secrets, do they sit and wonder about me the way I have sat and wondered about them.

Unexpected Surprise

2006-09-09T08:55:00.000-04:00

Resting my cheek in my palm, my head pounded as I stared intently at the computer screen before me. The work day had been a nightmare, the only exception coming from a few short emails that had made me smile.

Startled, I pulled away from the warm hands that had suddenly appeared on my shoulders. So distracted with numbers and calculations, I hadn't even noticed the echo of footsteps coming toward my desk.

"Hey, Baby, it's just me." It was R smiling down at me, spinning my chair to face him as he knelt down.

"You're back," I smiled, kissing him lightly on the lips. Sliding his hands across my bare legs, his finger tips came to a rest just inside the seam of my shorts. "What are you doing here already? I wanted to look good for you..." I was pouting.

"Awww.... You always look good to me Baby," he returned, sliding his fingertips a little higher. "Look at how cute you look, with those short shorts, and the crazy pony tail," sliding his fingers even more, he stroked the moist, panty clad mound between my legs. Without thought, I reached down with my left hand and applied pressure.

"We shouldn't do this now," I whispered into his ear, barely able to hold back a moan as his fingertip slid along the crease of my panty line, slipping under.

"Let's get some lunch," his voice husky, more a demand then a suggestion. I knew without doubt the only thing I would be eating for lunch would he R.

Alone

2006-09-07T19:36:00.000-04:00

Hunger, anticipation, loneliness....

I don't like to be alone. For the past few days I've been Mom, a job which I'm very good at. I love my children, they mean the world to me, I do not and will not ever expose them to situations they are entirely too young to understand.

Yet, it leaves me empty, wanting to be touched and held, longing to snuggle up to a warm body during the long night. Thoughts of midnight stirrings and moonlight love making arouse my senses, I grow warm with need.

The need to be 'one' with another.

When the cat is away........

2006-09-02T11:51:00.000-04:00

Flirtation and teasing, I've been toying with J, he does not seem to mind that nothing serious could ever become of us. Which is a very good thing, I might add.

We met at the Chinese place for dinner, one of my favorite places to eat when I want to have fun. The booths are high backed and the wait staff doesn't speak English, what could be better?

His scent, as always, tantalized my senses as we talked and laughed. Very erotic, a man who can capture your complete attention with his scent, a scent that lingers, a scent that you carry with you after you've been together.

Sliding my hand beneath the table I reached for his cock, lightly stroking him through his pants. Immediately it began to grow firm within my grasp, sliding his own hand around mine, he gently squeezed.

My lips formed a slight smile as I stared down at my plate, then turned to look in his direction. He is crimson, his eyes darting about the restaurant, his hand gripping much harder upon mine.

"Don't look so guilty, silly," I whisper into his ear.

"What do you mean?" his voice is almost inaudible.

"Nobody knows what's happening, except us," his cock is straining within its confines, his grip upon my hand has become somewhat painful to me but I continue to rub.

"Oh God, I'm gonna cum in my pants, oh God," with a hard squeeze of his hand he pulsed in my grip, his hips moving instinctively upward. Releasing his grip, I continue to rub him out, a wet spot forming on his right thigh.

Looking back down at my plate, I can't help but giggle, I almost feel a tad guilty. He had no idea what was in store for him.

My Devilish Smile

2006-09-01T14:08:00.000-04:00

Giving him a sideways glance, I flash that devilish smile of mine, the smile that means I'm up to no good. He blushes, I like to see him blush, to see his face go from flesh toned to crimson. I know what he is thinking.

With a shove his chair rolls from his cubicle to mine, finally coming to a rest at my feet.

"What are you up to later?" he casually brushes a few stray hairs from his forehead.

"Not much, just a few things to do around the house before the kids come home tomorrow," I touch his foot with the pointy tip of my shoe. "Do you want to get something to eat tonight? [R] is out of town again, I could use the company." I'm certain he knows exactly what company I'm talking about.

"Yeah, I could go for that, I'm not doing much tonight myself," a slight bulge is forming in the groin area of his khakis. That all too familiar ache begins to grow within me, I feel myself flush and grow warm.

"Ok then, I'll see you later," I reply, placing a hand on his thigh, rubbing it lightly. Barely containing the urge to slide my hand higher, I excuse myself to check on a draft, leaving him at my desk.

Want

2006-08-31T17:19:00.000-04:00

My eyes traveled the length of his body, lingering, hungrily taking in his beauty. He is unaware of what I'm thinking, unaware of the lustful thoughts he has stirred within me.

He turns to talk to me, I look down before he has a chance to see. Slowly bringing my eyes up to his approaching form I pretend to just now notice him. I smile.

The deep huskiness in his voice sets me on edge, it's impossible for me to concentrate.

I try, but I can't.

Smiling deeply at me, he thinks I'm a ditz who only holds my position because of my looks.

I know this to be untrue, but I like the way he looks at me.

Perhaps I'll wait until tomorrow to critique the mistakes he made on his print.

Sleep Eludes Me

2006-08-26T23:10:00.000-04:00

I'm unable to sleep tonight, try as I might. I hate it when I get this way.

The power went out for several hours this morning throwing my entire day off. Without power I could not shower and get ready to meet R for lunch, without power I had no phone to let him know this. It's amazing how dependent people are on something like electricity.

If I had charged my dead cell phone last night, I could have called him on the cell. If I had a normal phone that merely plugged into the wall, I could have called him on that. Needless to say, because I hate to talk on the phone, it is not a priority of mine to charge my cell and it is also a necessity that I keep a phone that has a dependable answering machine.

I was sitting on the couch, still wearing pajamas, when R arrived at my home in somewhat of a panic. The time had slipped past faster than I had realized as I lazily sat, reading a new book. I had been so engrossed in the novel that I did not even hear him pull up the drive, he startled me as he started to bang on the door.

"Are you ok?" he reached out and hugged on to me as I opened the door. Worry lines creased his brow.

"I'm fine, my power is out because of the storm, I couldn't call you," embarrassed at my appearance, I smoothed out my wrinkled shirt and flipped my hair out of my eyes.

"I was worried about you. The last time we spoke you were pissed off at me because of the conference call, then you didn't show up for lunch," the worry beginning to wear off, R was now a bit frustrated with me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't charge my phone last night, I would have called if I could have," placing both hands on his chest I leaned up and kissed his chin.

"You know I worry about you," wrapping his arms about me, he kissed my forehead, tension slipping from his body.

He suggested we go to his house so I could shower and I gladly accepted. Even though I know he has seen me at my worst I still become embarrassed when I don't look my best for him.

As I knew he would accept, I requested R join me in the shower to wash my hair. The most amazing feeling in the world is to have strong arms wrapped around you, soft lips upon your own, and hot water splashing against your skin. I could feel myself melt into his embrace, hungry for his touch. I wanted so much more then he was giving me, and he knew it.

"You're such a spoiled brat," he teased me. "Always pouting when you don't get what you want," kissing me hard on the lips before I can protest. A slight smile plays across his lips as I tilt my head back into the stream of water.

Dipping his head down, he begins to lick and suck my nipples, teasing me, enticing me, creating an urgent need within me.

"Oh, Honeyman, you know you like it when I pout for you," I purred in his ear.

Happy HNT!

2006-08-24T17:32:00.000-04:00

I just love red panties!

Anxiously, I await R's arrival..... I long to be held in his arms, to be captivated by his smile, to feel his soft touch caress the most intimate parts of my body.

Corruption

2006-08-22T19:50:00.000-04:00

Something has happened to the first few entries of my blog, they are no longer original.

I'm saddened to think that someone would go in and destroy something this personal, this little section of cyberspace that I call my own.

What in the hell is wrong with people.

Peek-a-boo Pink - Do you like?

2006-08-19T16:19:00.000-04:00

The BB King Concert

2006-08-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

I went to a BB King concert with J last night. So much fun..... By far one of the most enjoyable evenings I've had in a while.

BB King is absolutely one of the funniest performers I've ever seen on stage. At one point he began a dialogue about how far 'up north' he was and wondered if he'd actually ended up in Canada, he continued on to talk about how our 'perfect' speech and diction was confusing the hell out of him because he was used to 'down home talk'. I laughed and sang and clapped along, such a great time!

We stopped at a bar on the way back from the concert, most decidedly not a good move on my part. Still giddy from the good time I'd had at the concert, I started drinking vodka and cranberry's until I ended up totally inebriated.

I'm certain you all know what happens when I drink too much.

As J had pulled into my drive to let me out I had smiled at him and told him about the wonderful time I had. Smiling back, he leaned in and kissed me.

And I was on fire instantly.

Before I knew what I was even doing I had whispered in his ear that he should come in and spend the night, he certainly shouldn't be out driving late at night with so many drinks in his system. He didn't say a word, just turned off the car and got out.

Taking him by the hand I led him into my bedroom and shut the door behind us, nobody was home, but it's a habit I've picked up since having children.

"You don't have to do this," he quietly whispered into my ear, kissing my neck, holding me in his arms.

"I know..." I whispered back. My lips found their way to his, tasting them, kissing them.

"I've wanted you for so long," his words were urgent this time, one arm wrapped tightly about my waist, his hand on my ass, squeezing.

"I know you have....." I whispered back. His cock was hard, pressing into me as we stood by the door.

I've Been Naughty

2006-08-17T16:19:00.000-04:00

The secret to 'no panty lines' is no panties.

God I love the feeling of walking around absolutely naked beneath the thin material of my skirt.......

Since nobody was looking I spread my legs beneath my desk and fingered myself for a good 5 minutes, I'm so horny at the moment I could jump the next man to walk past me.

Maybe if I'm lucky, and the office remains quiet, I'll be able to finish the job right at my desk.

(Searching desk for something that may be able to be used as a synthetic penis. Definitely need to invest in some toys.)

Mmmmmm...... the handle on my hairbrush is just the trick. Damn.... footsteps coming down the corridor.

(pulling skirt down over the brush tucked between my legs, sliding chair further beneath desk)

The footsteps stop 2 cubicles down, I resume my activities. One hand sliding the brush handle in and out, the other hand rubbing my clit.

Oh God, I moaned a little....

Rubbing harder, I can't help it, the brush handle is all the way in to the bristles, my hand rocking it back and forth.

Wetness, I feel wetness.... I'm cumming, gotta catch it with a tissue.

Oh God, I moaned again.... a man's voice has asked if everything is ok. I reply that everything is just fine.

I think he knows, but I don't care.

My Body Aches....

2006-08-14T15:43:00.000-04:00

...from the non stop sex I had last night.

I'm completely exhausted today, red rimmed eyes from lack of sleep, uncontrolled yawning to accompany them.

I have to sit down carefully today, never have I felt quite this sore on a morning after.

I smiled when my cube mate exclaimed that I look like I had been 'rode hard and put away wet'.
Little does she know how close to the truth she actually is.

After sleeping for an hour and a half I was awakened by R, full hard on and ready for action. Already between my legs, his lips savagely traveling across my neck and chest, his hands pressed down upon mine above my head. Loud moans escaping me as I arched up against him, my legs tightening around his waist. Completely exhausted, yet I still wanted more, much more. I wanted him, all of him, I wanted him to wear me out, completely and utterly use me up.

And he did.

Then held me tight, kissing me softly, loving me, caressing me.

And it was time for me to get up and go to work.

And I missed him so......

2006-08-12T06:58:00.000-04:00

R is finally back in town, I haven't been so excited in.... I can't remember when.

The company R works for had picked up an ailing manufacturing plant that was about to close it's doors due to bancrupcy, R was sent to help manage the issues that kept this manufacturing plant down.

I've missed him so, only twice had he returned during his stay on the east coast.

I picked him up at the airport wearing only a thin cotton summer dress and a pair of barely there bronze flip flop sandals, my hair flowing loosely about me in the breeze. My breasts bounced lightly as we walked back to my car, the thin material of the dress teasing my nipples into erection.

"Goddamn I've missed you!" R exclaimed, halfway to the car, circling his arm about my waist.

"I've missed you too!" I replied as we stopped next to my car. Pulling a stray hair from my eyes, I turned to face R, looking up into his eyes, smiling, containing my urge to maul him to death right in front of me.

Sliding his hands up to my breasts, he playfully pinched the protruding nipples, without thought I had slid my hands upon his.

"I need you right now..." I whispered into him as we kissed, my need for him so great that I was very nearly ripping his clothes from him as I spoke.

"You can have me, we can make this work... Let me get into the back seat, you sit on my lap, little lady." Looking around quickly, R opened the back door and sat in the center of the seat, deftly removing an already rock hard cock. "Ok, come on baby."

Climbing in at an awkward angle, I straddled his lap with each leg, my rear in the air facing him, my hands on the console between the front seats.

Smoothing his hands up the length of my thighs, he groaned at the discovery there were no panties beneath the dress. His hips raised as he pulled my hips down upon him, burying his cock deep inside me. Arching my back, I slid my entire weight upon his lap, his full girth inside me.

"Mmmmm.... that's it baby...." he moaned as I rocked my hips in rhythm with his.

"Oh God I've missed you so much...." I gasped as my body took over and I came hard in his lap.

"That's my girl, let it go baby," he soothed, thrusting deep inside me, holding, spasming, cumming as well.

Tenderly kissing my lips as I slid back from his lap into the seat beside him, he held his hand on my knee and smiled.

"I've missed you too, Baby."

Arousal at Victoria's Secret

2006-07-24T10:19:00.000-04:00

I watched a man get a hard on in Victoria's Secret yesterday. It was amazing, in a way, either he didn't know he was that visible or he didn't care. He just stood there, pants bulging, watching.

Oddly enough, I couldn't stop staring at his crotch.

In some weird twisted way, it turned me on, making me wish that R wasn't out of town. Then again, sometimes rubbing your own pussy until you cum is just as satisfying.

Caught in the Act

2006-07-18T20:06:00.000-04:00

The noises and laughter could be heard through the door as we gently kissed and caressed, my hands traveling across his chest, his hands gripping my ass, pulling me toward him.

His cock was hard, pressing into me, beckoning me to take notice.

With a devilish smile upon my lips I kneel down before him, stroking, rubbing my thumb across the bulge beneath his zipper. Carefully squeezing and applying pressure, I slowly stroked his cock through the material of his slacks.

"Should I take care of that for you [R]?" I giggled, and licked my lips slowly.

"Absolutely..." he groaned, tearing the zipper down and unleashing himself.

Slowly running my tongue along the underside of his cock, I wrapped my fingers around his base and gave it a squeeze, massaging his balls as I enveloped the head of his cock with my mouth.

Every fiber of my being wanted to pounce upon him, I grew wet with anticipation, knowing I would have to wait a few more hours yet.

His fingers were tangled in my hair, my head bobbing up and down, sucking in his essence, when the door flew open, wide eyes staring in at us.

"Holy shit [R], my bad man," he replied, then continued to stare. I hadn't stopped what I was doing, in fact, I was kind of enjoying the audience.

"What the hell?? Get a good enough view??" R was pissed, pulling his jacket up to shield his view of me. He placed his hand on the back of my head as the door slammed, cum pulsing into my mouth as I tried to swallow it down without choking.

"That's my girl," he moaned, smoothing my hair down where his fingers had been.

Flirtation

2006-07-17T15:04:00.000-04:00

His eyes flirted with mine from across the room. From a sideways glance I smile in return, then quickly look away.

His colleagues are surrounding him, demanding his attention, they are the least of his concern at the moment. The only person in the room that he is even aware of is me.

Casually sitting with his partner, I tip the wine glass to my lips and sip. The partner is boring me, but I make no move to leave. I pretend to be interested in a conversation that eludes me, every once in a while a smile appears on my lips, every once in a while I ask what his stance is on the subject.

All the while I am waiting for my chance to be alone with him, the only one in the room who captures my full attention, I glance again in his direction and wave.

Then laugh as the partner teases me and my indiscretions, wishing he had found me first.

Between the Sheets

2006-07-14T10:34:00.000-04:00

I smiled as his hand slowly traced the length of my thigh, resting finally between my legs, fingers slowly rubbing the thin silky material of my panties. Reaching up, I wrap my free arm around his shoulder, kissing his lips. His tough became rough between my legs, I pressed my hips against his hand, wanting much more.

Pushing him onto his back, I straddled his waist allowing his hard on to rest between the bare skin of my thighs. My skin tight spaghetti strap tank top bulged at the breast, arching my back, I placed my hands on his thighs and slowly rolled my hips, wanting more than anything to have every inch of him inside me. His hands traveled up the front of me, grabbing my tits and squeezing, kneading, cupping them.

Moaning aloud, I placed my hands upon his and begged him to fuck me.

I fell back to the bed as he sat up without warning, his eyes glazed with lust and need.

"Get on your knees baby," he crooned, hovering above me.

"Ok," awkwardly, I rolled onto my knees beneath him. My face was buried in the comforter, his breath warm on my neck. Rough hands pulled my panties down to my knees, exposing me in full for his pleasure. Without warning he buried his rock hard cock inside me, pulling me by my hips, crushing my ass to his groin. I groaned out from a pain which quickly subsided to sheer animal hunger for him.

"That's my girl, push back on me baby," his hands held my shoulders, pulling on them as I pushed back, nearly sitting in his lap. Moaning, I couldn't stop moaning as his cock pulsed and throbbed inside me. The panties ripped apart finally, allowing me to spread my legs wide, allowing R to fit between them. I screamed out in ecstasy as I came, tiny shivers traveled the length of my spine.

"Oh, yeah, that's my girl, don't hold back baby," smoothing his hands along my back side, he thrust deeply inside me, cumming as well. Beads of perspiration coated our bodies as we moved to lie close to each other.

I didn't care.

I was just so glad to have him next to me.

The same, yet, different

2006-07-12T18:33:00.000-04:00

A depression has set over me, I so long for R to return to the way he was. He remembers many of our experiences and his feelings for me are still strong, but, it's just not the same. Words can not explain why I feel this. I don't even know why I feel this. I loathe and despise the woman who has changed my life so dramatically.

My only hope is that, in time, I get my funny and spontaneous R back.

Last night was as close to normal as I've had since the accident. R was released from the hospital yesterday, I couldn't wait to get him home, for us to be able to share some alone time. I've missed him so much. I've seen him everyday, but it's just not the same, I don't like to share. I want him all to myself, I want him to focus his attentions toward me.

And, he did.

We sat and watched TV just like old times, times that I have long since forgotten about. He relaxed back, leaning on stacked pillows on the bed, me sitting between his parted legs, my back relaxing upon his front.

It was pure heaven.

"It's you again."

2006-06-26T11:55:00.000-04:00

He looked at me and smiled from his hospital bed as I entered the room. Pains shot through my chest as he spoke those words, he still wasn't remembering me.

"Yes, it's me again," I smiled back. I wanted so badly for him to just tell me he had playing some kind of elaborate joke on me.

"You're so damn cute, I can't believe I would ever forget someone like you," he laughed, then held a hand to his forehead. R has had a severe head injury, I'm certain it has been accompanied by a severe headache as well.

"I can't believe you would forget someone like me either," I harassed him, teasingly.

"So, have we fucked before? Or?" raising his eyebrows, he looked me over from head to toe.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, we have, on many many occasions," my body temperature had risen off the scale, I could feel my face flushing as I spoke. Scanning the room for a clock, I couldn't believe they didn't have a clock on the wall.

"Where's that watch I bought you?" he said, plain as day.

"What did you say?" I could hardly believe my ears.

"Where's that watch I bought you? You wouldn't have to search for a clock all the time if you would just wear the watch." his eyes shut for a moment then opened.

"You remember the watch! You bought me the watch for Christmas this year! Oh My God I can't believe you remember the watch!" I was ecstatic, now if only he would start to remember everything.

"I do, it just hit me, you constantly ask me what time it is, don't you....." he shut his eyes again, as if trying to picture something.

....more to come

Terrible Day

2006-06-25T07:16:00.000-04:00

R and I have been in a terrible car accident. Although I was relatively lucky, I managed to escape with only minor cuts and bruising, R was not so lucky, as I sit here and type he clings to life in the ICU. For 4 days he had been comatose, finally waking yesterday morning.

I'm so afraid.

He barely remembered who I was.

An Evening of Pleasure

2006-06-19T18:54:00.000-04:00

I pouted until R promised me he would stay over anyway, my sister's abrupt arrival had nearly chased him off. I couldn't wait to be alone with him.

At 9:00 she had called it a night leaving the 2 of us to do as we please, and do as we please we did. R sat on the couch while I stood before him, slowly removing my shirt, then tossing it into the air. He laughed as I flashed him a wicked smile, then turned and shook my ass in a playful tease before him.

His hands held my hips and pulled me down onto his lap, giggling uncontrollably. My entire body tingled as his lips found my neck, such a sensitive area, I love to have my neck nuzzled. I leaned back on the couch, pulling him with me, spreading my legs to allow him to lie between them, I needed more then anything to feel him between them.

I needed more then anything to feel him inside me.

The front of his dockers bulged and rubbed between my legs, reaching down, I held his cock in my right hand and massaged it through his pants. Using my other hand I rubbed between my legs as well.

I moaned and he could take it no longer, his pants were down and so were mine, his cock buried up to the base inside me, grinding, pumping, thrusting hard. We came hard in what seemed to be mere seconds.

And this was just the beginning.

So Different, Yet So Similar

2006-06-17T23:54:00.000-04:00

I often wonder how my sister and I could possibly have come from the same parents.

From the minute she appeared on my doorstep we had been at odds with each other. I am very aware of her disapproval over what has happened within my personal life. She is often jealous of me, often harshly critical, often disapproving. Something I've grown accustomed to over the years.

R was at my home when she arrived, unannounced, from her home, which happens to be on the other side of the country.

"Good lord girl, look at you! Didn't I teach you how to use a comb?" she stated, running her fingers through my hair. Looking over from head to toe, she picked up a bag and stepped through the doorway. "And, who might you be?" She was looking in R's direction, smoothing her free hand over her perfectly coiffed pony tail.

"[R], and you are?" R looked a tad irritated. Shrugging my shoulders, I introduce him to my sister.

An awkward silence fell over the three of us as I took my place at R's side, his hand resting on my right shoulder.

"I'm so surprised to see you here, you should have let me know you were going to be in town," trying desperately to get even a little conversation going, too much drama in the air.

"Oh, well, you know me. I got to feeling bad for my baby sister, I woke up yesterday and told [husband] I needed to come take care of you for a few days, looks like I got here just in time," smiling, she took my hand and pulled me to her.

She was purposely coming between R and myself, it couldn't be more apparent.

"So, is that your Jag out there [R]?" subtlety is not my sisters forte.

"Um, yeah," his eyes searching mine, he flushed a little, his nervousness becoming very visible.

"That's an awfully nice car, you must be doing well, then, huh?" her jealousy now showing through.

"Ok, stop! We are not going there! If you are here to visit, you are here to visit. Nothing else. No competition, no judging, no criticism. Ok?" 15 minutes into her stay and already I wanted her to leave.

I sometimes wish I was an only child.

Lust

2006-06-13T17:32:00.000-04:00

I see your eyes travel the length of my body, roaming, searching, taking in the curve of my hip, the swell of my breast. Leaning forward just a tad, I place my hand on your forearm, and speak. So red, your face is flushed as you think the nasty little thoughts you would love to be doing with me, I smile in return.

I love the way you hang on my every word, waiting, hoping, needing me to focus all my attention on you. Sliding my hand down the front of my blouse, I smooth the material as if to remove an invisible wrinkle, I see your eyes hungrily travel to my breasts, the outline of my bra visibly noticeable through my shirt front. Flushing even deeper, you look away when you realize I have caught you staring.

Little do you know how much of a turn on you have been to me, how wet I have become just at the thought of you fantasizing about me.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned....

2006-06-11T07:35:00.000-04:00

R and I were out for the evening, having a few drinks, listening to the band play. Sitting side by side at the table, I'm sure we looked every bit the sappy 'new' couple. In honesty, we sit like that so we can play and tease each other without being noticed.

I had excused myself to use the restroom and was in route when she appeared out of nowhere. A blond woman who looked to be about 10 years older then myself, nonetheless, she was very classy and beautiful.

"Don't worry, he'll grow tired of you as well," she hissed as she flicked ashes from the end of her cigarette.

"Pardon me?" I hadn't caught the gist of her comment, but I did catch the hate with which she threw it at me.

"Listen Girly, he's going to break your heart into a million pieces just like all the rest of us. Just give it a month or two," and with that, she turned on her heel, leaving me to think about what had just happened.

Forgetting about the original reason I had wandered from our table, I returned back to R and sat beside him again.

"I think we should go, something weird just happened to me." I had planned not to say a word, and there I was spilling my guts.

"What do you mean? What's going on?" I looked down at my lap as R's words of concern made me wish I hadn't said a word.

"A woman just approached me as I was headed to the restroom, she seemed very angry at you, I don't know, I guess I just didn't know what to think," I looked up into his eyes. The band had started playing again forcing me to nearly yell my response.

"What woman, where did she go?" he yelled back, quickly scanning the room for anyone he could recognize. She turned her head at the exact moment he looked her way, immediate recognition. "Holy shit,"

"What, what is it?" My growing concern was getting the best of me. The band was between songs now as he spoke.

"That's the one, the one I was seeing when we first met," R's eyes moved back to mine, his lips formed into a smile. "Then I met you and everyone else paled in comparison."

R and I have been seeing each other, in secret and otherwise, for almost 2 years now. I'm not cerain, but, I do believe that if he were going to break my heart, he would have done so by now.

Windows to the Soul

2006-06-08T17:54:00.000-04:00

A person's eyes can say so much, what do mine tell you?

Happy HNT everyone!

Life Interrupted

2006-06-08T05:18:00.000-04:00

I was partaking in a little 'dirty chat' with a new friend I've made when R arrived, unannounced, and out of the blue. My friend and I had just gotten to the really good stuff, too.

His foot steps methodically clipped across my front porch while I hurried to put my shirt back on and straightened my shorts, I didn't want him to know what I had been doing. I waited until he knocked at the door, then let him in and smiled.

The speculating look on his face gave away the inkling that he knew I had been up to something. Smiling, he reached his hand down and rubbed between my legs, kissing me on the lips. Because I had been so aroused only moments before, I couldn't resist myself, my arms immediately found their way around his neck, my hips moving to the rhythm of the motion of his hand.

I moaned softly when R used his fingertips to apply pressure as he rubbed, the thin cotton material of my shorts barely a barrier between my aching body and his firm touch. Visions of lovemaking danced through my head as he slipped his hand beneath the shorts and rubbed my bare skin, inserting a finger between the folds.

So wet, I could hear the wet smacking sounds as his fingers slid in and out of me, bringing me to orgasm.

"That's my girl," he whispered in my ear as I leaned forward and placed my head on his shoulder.

For that brief moment, all was right with the world.

At my request....

2006-06-05T18:37:00.000-04:00

He fucked me doggie style, while I wore a blue thong that he had skillfully pulled to the side. His cock grinding into me, his hands gripping my hips, I moaned for him not to stop, I moaned for him to fuck me harder.

Placing my hands out before me, I pushed back into him, arching my back, cumming hard, so hard. With shaking arms, I lowered my head down to the bed, placing my forehead on the pillow before me.

Cum dripped from my lips, down the insides of my legs, as he finished. His cum would be dripping from me as well.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

An Apology Accepted

2006-06-05T17:57:00.000-04:00

Before I even answered the phone I knew it was R, our argument had shaken me up quite a bit. Something we had never ever done before was argue, I had absolutely no clue how to handle it.

"Hello"

"Hey Honey Girl"

"Hey"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, I guess I just lost my mind."

"You hurt my feelings"

"I know, I'm so sorry, the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do was be the person who put that look on your face."

"What look?"

"That look you get just before you cry."

"I didn't cry"

"Yes you did, I know you did. So, are you going to let me in?"

"Let you in where?"

"Your house. I've been standing on the porch for the last half hour."

"Oh my God, you have?"

Upon opening the door I found that R was true to his word, he indeed stood on my front porch, along with 72 rolls of toilet paper. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Smiling in return, he took me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.

"Let's not do that anymore, ok?" he asked, kissing me again on the top of the head.

"Let's not," I returned in agreement. Sliding my hands down from the center of his back, I cupped R's rear an giggled. "So, let's say we go upstairs, and......"

"And?" he quipped.

"And, you make me forget the fact that you called me a silly girl that you were wasting your time on." I could tell by the look in his eye that I had struck a nerve, but he continued to smile.

"I'm so sorry [woman with a secret], that is something I've never ever even considered, I don't even know why I said it." He was so sincere.

Squeezing his tush, I kissed him full on the lips, pressing my hips into his front side, enjoying the feeling of his strong arms around me, squeezing me.

Small Town America

2006-06-04T07:47:00.000-04:00

I live in small town America, USA. Sometimes it really pisses me off!

Having gone without cable for 3 days, which means I've had to go without internet too, I was less then pleased to hear, from the cable company, they are 'rebuilding lines' and they are sorry for the inconvenience, but they don't plan to stop a thing they are doing, and I should be prepared for outages for the next 2 months.

What the hell kind of answer is that??

The kind of answer someone who is secure in the fact that I will deal with it because I have few other options available to me. I've tried the satellite thing, doesn't work. In fact, I think I may live in a satellite dead zone. I'm certain if one were to fly overhead, it would drop right out of the sky and land in my front yard. If I was lucky, I could try reselling it on Ebay and make a mini fortune.

Hmmm...... oddly, I feel better now that I've griped, I should do it more often. Perhaps then I wouldn't have gotten into my first real argument with R over a stupid roll of toilet paper. Oh well, here's to hoping I get a little make-up sex tonight.

Happy HNT!

2006-06-01T18:46:00.000-04:00

I so wanted to post something fresh and original for my first stab at a half nekkid Thursday! I just don't have the time today, hope this will do. (This picture originally posted in November.) Next week, I promise fresh and original.

25 Sexual Things about Me

2006-05-29T20:44:00.000-04:00

(This post idea stolen from Lustdemon, be sure to stop by and take a look)

I have squirted before during sex. It doesn't always happen, and I usually can't tell when it is going to happen, but it does sometimes. The very first time it happened it scared me, my partner was ecstatic. We were in doggie position and really fucking hard, I could feel the cum dripping from my pussy.
I find it extremely erotic to have my pussy rubbed through a pair of slacks or jeans. I have been able to orgasm just from the touch of a partner rubbing in this fashion.
I like it when my partner is dominant during sex, I want him to tell me what to do, and how to do it. It turns me on having a man in complete control of my sexual pleasures.
The best sex I've ever had has been with short men.
A secret fantasy of mine is to make love to a black man. I've always wanted to know if the rumors are indeed true.
I masturbate often. I sometimes wonder if there is something seriously wrong, or, am I a nympho.
I once licked my nipple during sex, giving my partner an orgasm that was so intense he nearly passed out. Kneeling in the bathroom, he apologized for 5 minutes trying to get his bearing back.
When I was 16 I had a sex dream about my best friend, a girl named Jessica. I was so bothered by the dream I called up my boyfriend and requested he teach me how to give head.
I give really good head. Kudos to that boyfriend for being such an excellent teacher.
I own a porn movie that nobody knows about, except you. I sometimes imagine I am the girl in the movie.
I am attracted to older men, the ideal age range 40-50 years old.
I sometimes miss seeing R in secret. So, today, I requested he meet me in the parking lot of the pub for a 'special lunch'. After riding his cock for 45 minutes we stopped in for a quick bite to eat.
I was molested by an older cousin when I was a child. My family chose to keep the incidents a secret, this is the first I've ever mentioned it to anyone. Neither my husband nor R know.
I waited until I was 18 to lose my virginity. I've posted about this experience in a previous post.
I have secretly considered what it would be like to live a swinging lifestyle.
I find great enjoyment in knowing that other men find me attractive. I sometimes sit at my desk and purposely stretch or straighten my stockings when I know I'm being watched from afar.
I love to shower with my partners. I love everything about being naked, wet, and close to a man, smoothing my soapy hands across his body, feeling him smooth his soapy hands across mine.
It turns me on immensely to have R shave different parts of my body. When he had first suggested it, I was hesitant, but open to the idea. I'm glad I consented.
Men who wear a nice smelling cologne make me wet. I can't help it, nor do I want to.
If I could, I would surround myself with intelligent, articulate men. I love it when they stimulate my mind, when I'm forced to think, when conversation boggles my mind.
I would choose a man who treats me well over a good looking man anyday.
Blue eyes are my weakness, I love blue eyes, especially ones that twinkle.
I am disgusted by long toe nails. I have refused to have sex with a man who needed his nails clipped.
When I was pregnant for my second child, I posed nude in a picture for my husband.
I finished this post at work today, now I'm incredibly horny.

Another Birthday Come and Gone

2006-05-28T08:38:00.000-04:00

I am one year older today, one year wiser, one year closer to death....

Funny how much difference one day can make.

We spent the evening at the local stock car races, R and I, kicking back a few beers and letting our hair hang down. Something I have never before done with R, in fact, hesitation gripped me as I even thought of mentioning it. I'm so glad I did, though, it was absolutely the best birthday I can remember.

Intoxicated and giddy with excitement from the evening, I stumbled up the steps to R's house, catching my balance on the rail half way up. Placing his arm in mine, R continued to help me the remainder of the way, quietly laughing to himself when I kicked off my sandals on the top step.

"What are you doing [woman with a secret]?" Eyebrows raised, he mocked an authoritative voice.

"It's too hot out," I replied, letting go of his arm, pulling my t-shirt over my head. Reaching out, R softly placed his hands upon my shoulders, moving them in smooth, slow circles.

"Old Woman Johnson is probably watching you from across the street Baby Girl," leaning down to kiss me, he didn't care any more then I did.

"You think she'll take notes? Harold needs a good fuck," crushing me to his chest, I was unable to even finish my thought. Leaving the sandals and t-shirt exactly where they lay, the two of us stumbled through the door, landing on the area rug in the foyer.

Slowly sliding the remainder of my clothes off, I watched as R removed his as well, waiting in anticipation for him to finish. Kneeling before him, teasing him, I placed a hand on each of his bare thighs and placed the head of his penis in my soft warm mouth, rubbing it with my tongue, sucking it, tasting it. It twitched as applied pressure with my tongue, the taste of precum salting my tastebuds.

"Oh, God, you know how to suck a cock Baby," his hands entwined in my hair. Removing his cock from my mouth, a visible spit string connecting my lip to his penis breaking as I pulled away, I smiled up at him, sticking my tongue out.

"Your turn, handsome, the birthday girl is feeling a little, neglected," leaning back on my elbows, R buried his face between my legs, licking each lip once before heading to the clit.

A perfect end to the best birthday ever.

Thank God it's Friday

2006-05-26T18:04:00.000-04:00

Words can not tell you how happy I am that this week is through, I so need the long weekend ahead of me.

I met with my lawyer today, I can't help but wonder what it is that R values in this man. It was a very tough decision for me to chose to keep him, not just because he had been advised to me by R, but because he leers at me with lustful roaming eyes, something R has taken notice of as well. In the end, the one deciding factor that kept him on was a single statement he had made during a phone call after my initial consultation.

Divorce can be ugly, but I choose to play fair.

This visit, itself, was rather unpleasant, matters of child custody can often be so ugly. It scares me to think about my children forced into such a situation, I must keep reminding myself that it only shows how much we each love them. I have been very fortunate in the fact that my husband has refrained from poisoning their minds with hate and disgust for me.

Aren't we in the midst of a divorce?

2006-05-25T18:12:00.000-04:00

The future ex-husband has found a new home a few miles from the one we once shared. Convenient, yes, maybe a little too convenient?

I stopped by his home, this afternoon, to drop off a few boxes of his things that I had gathered and packed for him, things I know he cherishes, personal belongings that he has collected as far back as childhood.

Suspecting that he would be at work, my plan was to leave the boxes on his back deck and sneak off without having to confront him.

Plan backfired.

Apparently he had taken a few days off work to collect his thoughts and perhaps take it easy for a long holiday weekend. I was headed back toward the Durango for the third box of his belongings when I heard him clear his throat behind me. Startled, one hand flew up to my chest as I spun around, a small scream escaping me.

"I, uh, I, oh my God, I'm sorry, I just wanted to leave a few things for you, I didn't think you would be here." I could feel my face flush.

"It's ok. So, what did you bring me?" One hand smoothed through his unkempt, slightly too long hair.

"Just a few things that I knew you would..... um, just a few things I know you would want," I wanted to cry, for the love of God, I don't know what came over me, but I wanted to cry.

"Hey, now, don't get all emotional on me now," placing one hand on my shoulder, he gave me a slight smile and winked. Turning to grab the last of the boxes, he welcomed me into his house to give me a quick tour. It was nothing to write home about, but I knew our sons would love the place. So much land, several acres had come with the house, so much space to roam.

One single solitary couch sat in the middle of the living room. Hesitantly, I took a seat, not quite sure what to do next.

"I miss you," he said aloud before taking a seat right next to me.

"I miss you too," I replied. It wasn't until that moment that I realized just how much. I couldn't stop myself, to be honest, when he leaned forward I found myself kissing him with all the passion I had. His hands slid up my sides resting squarely on my tits, thumbs rubbing against my protruding nipples.

"Come here Baby," wrapping his arms about my waist, I found myself sliding onto his lap, grinding into his quickly hardening cock.

Wet with pent up anxiety and anticipation, I was all over him, wanting him, kissing him, fucking him. Damn, I still loved fucking him.

His hard cock sliding in and out, deeper, harder, faster..... Sweat dripping from his body onto my own.....

Updating the Blogroll

2006-05-24T17:44:00.000-04:00

For everyone out there who reads my blog, I would love it to be able to read yours as well.

I've noticed as I went through my links to the right that several of my favorite reads are no more.....

Please drop me a comment and I'll stop by your site, perhaps add you to my blogroll.

Lastly, thanks to all you readers out there for taking the time to read my rambled writings and thoughts, it's much appreciated.

Wanton Love

2006-05-23T17:24:00.000-04:00

I smiled that smile he can not resist, I leaned above him and kissed him gently as he reclined back under the covers, pulling me with him, drawing his leg up between my knees.

Reaching up to brush the hair out of my eyes, he catches my hand in his, kissing my fingers one by one, dipping the last between his lips. I smile again, he smiles back. Hair that has been trapped within my eyelashes partially shields my view as I blink, hoping to blink it away. A stray tendril has found it's way to the corner of my mouth.

"You look so sexy tonight, little lady," he moans into my ear, pushing me flat to my back. Rough kisses sweep my neck and shoulders, rough hands remove my white lace panties, a wanton lover places himself between my eager legs.

Insatiable J

2006-05-22T18:11:00.000-04:00

Since the news of my impending divorce, J has been a constant visitor to my cube. Forever asking how I'm doing, do I need any help, would I like to have lunch.

To be honest, I've been enjoying the attention.

I sat next to him in the booth at lunch today, my thigh up tight next to his, his arm carelessly draped atop the seat behind me. 2 of our coworkers sat directly across from us, the entire lunch filled with conversation of work deadlines and off color jokes. Several times I leaned forward to whisper into the ear of my cube mate, always placing my hand atop J's upper thigh, as if to hold my balance.

The muscles of his thigh tightened beneath my palm, almost twitching. I wondered inwardly if he was enjoying our lunch as much as I.

His Smile

2006-05-20T09:27:00.000-04:00

I am enchanted with the way his smile warms my heart, the way it brings a smile to my face as well.

We sat, naked, on the deck letting the sun caress our bodies. I love the sun, I love the way it feels, how it makes me feel so warm and relaxed. I love the touch of bronze it adds to my otherwise pale skin.

It wasn't long before I was reaching for him, wanting him, kissing him. His skin was salty on my lips, pieces of hair fell into my eyes as I slowly kissed my way across his chest, his left hand brushing the hair back away from my eyes.

And that smile......

Pulling my eyes up to meet his gaze, I see him smiling his beautiful smile. I smile in return, blushing, I can't stop myself. Nor do I want to.

Beauty

2006-05-19T12:16:00.000-04:00

The sky was a clear blue, white clouds floating aimlessly by, I shielded my eyes from the wonderful brilliance of the sun. Warmth enveloped my body, stealing from me all energy I possessed as I lay back in the lounge chair, relaxing, taking in the rays.

I could feel him watching me, his presence was everywhere. Reclining the chair as far as it would go, I leaned my head back to take a glance. I smiled an upside down smile as he waved in return from his perch on the deck.

Pulling the hair tie from my hair, I let the loose curls fall about my shoulders, shaking the tendrils just a bit, just enough to capture the mussed windswept look I desired. The look he loved to see on me.

It wasn't long before R had made it down to the lake side reminding me to reapply my sunscreen, he would hate to see me burn. So kind of him to assist in it's application. Such a sensual act, really, to have one's lovers hands softly caress your body, smoothing lotions and creams onto your skin.

Grin

2006-05-18T15:49:00.000-04:00

The mischievous grin told me he was up to something, I couldn't help but smile back, wondering, just what is it he has in mind. I stepped up to him, placing my arm in his, staring deeply into his eyes, waiting.

"Got your luggage packed?" One eyebrow raised, his smile widened until it swept across his entire face.

"My luggage? No.... What do I need luggage for?" I asked.

"Well, for the trip silly," laughing at my puzzled expression, he leaned down to kiss me, the scent of him intoxicated my senses.

"What trip, I don't know anything about a trip! Where are we going??" turning to face him, grinning like a child, I pleaded for him to tell me more.

"I've got the cabin for the weekend, I thought you might like a break from everything, and, I wouldn't mind having you all to myself for a change," his free arm circling my waist, hand resting on my rear, pulling me tight to him.

Closing my eyes as his head bowed to kiss me once more, time at the cabin was just what I needed.

The News

2006-04-07T13:50:00.000-04:00

I'm amazed by the relative speed at which the news of my separation spread through the office. It was everywhere all at once. My cubicle mate, I'm almost certain, was the one to first leak the information.

Although I had not planned to keep the news a secret, I didn't intend for it to be an office wide scandal.

I was in a meeting with my boss when I first heard the news had hit my coworkers. My boss had laid a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye, asking if I was ok. 'Yes' I had commented, I wasn't quite sure what he was implying. He then proceeded to tell me he had "heard the news".

It is an odd mix of feelings, actually, to be confronted with a situation like that. First, embarrassment that my superior knows of my personal problems. I try very hard to keep my personal life separate from my professional life. Then, sadness, a sick feeling creeps in telling you that your life is in turmoil. Then, anger, thoughts of strangling the life out of whomever has leaked this information. Lastly, fear of the unknown, what does life have in store for me?

Yes, it has been a while.....

2006-04-05T11:52:00.000-04:00

I've been experiencing such crazy days and situations, as you may well have expected. Going into the new chapter of my life I knew things would be drastically different, and, I was not mistaken.

The last few weeks seem to have flown by in a blur. Sometimes I don't think I can keep up.

Last week I met with my lawyer for the first time. I'm not so sure I like him, R referred him to me because he was a good friend. It bothers me a bit that this man will be digging into some very personal aspects of my life, finances, and possessions. He is a complete stranger to me. Not only that, he is a good friend to R. Would they be discussing my situation without me present? And, what exactly would they be discussing? Perhaps I'm making to much of the situation, perhaps I'm not.

He's such a suave guy, and so handsome, but I get such a bad feeling around him. He is a predator circling fresh kill.

Finally

2006-03-21T17:44:00.000-05:00

With a delicate touch, he smoothed his hand down my side, resting it on my hip. Still somewhat concerned with my health, I could see it in his eyes. Pushing the pillow aside, I leaned in to him, resting my hand on his chest, seductively kissing his neck.

Oh, how I wanted him!

I slowly slid my hand down his chest, lingering just a bit to stroke that soft little line of hair that travels down below his belly button. His skin was so warm, so inviting. I leaned in again, this time kissing his chest, licking it with my tongue. He was so hard, his cock had escaped his boxers through one of the leg holes and peeked out at me. I lay back down on the bed, flat on my back with my arms above my head, one hand absently twirling my hair.

Within seconds the boxers were off and my night gown was around my waist, R's face buried between my legs. I came almost immediately, my hips rising off the bed, my fingers buried in his hair, my need for him was so intense.

"My, my, aren't we just a needy little lady tonight," he teased. I giggled, and agreed whole heartedly.

It's been far to long....

2006-03-19T14:48:00.000-05:00

... since I felt those strong arms around me, holding me, touching me. I need you. I'm feeling so much better now, I really am.

Pouting, just a little, I look up into your eyes, pleading, my palms are pressed flat against your stomach, my thumb absently stroking a button on your shirt.

I can tell by that smile you are giving in, I'm going to get my way, or, should I say, have my way with you. I smile back, a wicked little taunting smile, and kiss your chin.

Tightening your arms about me, you close your lips upon mine, I'm hungry for you, wanting you, lusting you. I've got to have you.

Now.

And the doctor just looked at me

2006-03-12T10:01:00.000-05:00

When I collapsed at work, my boss had driven me to the ER to get a quick check. I had been battling a cold all week, but I had so much to do at work, in the end I overtaxed myself.

The doctor on call had decided to admit me. My temperature was higher then he was comfortable with, not to mention the upper respiratory infection that had set in.

I called my husband and explained to him what had happened. Because it was my week with the kids, I needed him to take care of them.

R had stopped by my work and found out I had been rushed to the hospital after collapsing in a meeting. Worried, he rushed to the hospital to see if I was ok. By this time, I had been admitted to a room and pretty much crashed from exhaustion and not feeling well. Almost at the same time R arrived, my husband arrived as well.

I was lying in the bed, the doctor was pointing a light in my eyes asking how I was feeling.

From almost a million miles away I could hear R say "What are you doing here?" His voice was harsh, much harsher then I'd ever heard before.

"You may be fucking her, but I'm still her husband Prick!" my husbands voice, just as harshly, replied.

The doctor just looked at me, maybe it was the IV, maybe it was my exhaustion, but I just replied "I'm not perfect, I'm so sorry. I'm separated...."

"Would you like me to get rid of them?" he was very kind, and I appreciated it so much.

"Yes," I said, and closed my eyes. I was so tired.

Just Checking In

2006-03-11T07:37:00.000-05:00

I haven't been feeling well, folks. Between an ear infection, sinus infection, and an upper respiratory infection, I've been feeling pretty lousy, even spent a couple of days in the hospital.

I'm home now, on the mend, feeling a little better everyday.

I promise, maybe later today, to tell everyone about the fight that broke out in the hospital between R and Husband. Not a good scene, then again, look what has happened.

After Midnight

2006-03-05T11:49:00.000-05:00

I've become a nymph. I was bad before, I'm even worse now. I think about sex constantly.

My hand was on R's cock when I awoke in the night, stroking it in my sleep, it was already rock hard. I wanted it. Wet with anticipation, a bead of precum was already forming on the tip.

Pulling myself up on all fours, I straddled his cock, teasing it with my pussy, just enough to make him moan. Leaning down to take a nipple in my mouth, I bit it, suckled it, licked it. Before he had a chance to roll me over I climbed off, and repositioned myself. With my dripping wet pussy directly over his face I swallowed his cock. My right hand stroked and squeezed his balls as I sucked him in, ran my tongue around the head, and sucked him in again.

His head went crazy between my legs, his tongue licking and probing, his hands clutching me closer. The coarse sensation of his unshaven face set me over the edge. Just remembering how his chin felt rubbing against my sensitive areas has me warm and lustful.

It was enough to set him over the edge too, as I came into his mouth, he came into mine, slowly stroking him, I swallowed every last drop.

And then kissed him, tasting myself on his lips, feeling the wetness on his face.

It's an all new experience

2006-03-02T14:47:00.000-05:00

My elbows have been rug burned from the nights of play I've had with R. Every moment I spend with him seems to be better then the last. I'm certain this is probably just a passing phase, but, I just feel so happy. I'm not happy that I've turned my life upside down, but, I'm just so happy to be with someone who is happy to be with me.

His hands pulled hard on my shoulders as he thrust into me from behind, my legs spread wide, my face burried in the pillow, moaning in ecstacy. Leaning down, I feel his breath on my shoulder, he licks it, bites it, kisses my back.

Releasing his grip with one hand, he pulls my hair to the side, exposing my neck for him to kiss, to nibble.

"Rub your clit baby," he groans into my ear. I slide my hand down the length of the bed and slip it under me. My pussy is spread wide, dripping from multiple orgasms, my fingers slide with ease. I can feel his cock thrusting furiously with my fingertips, his hands roughly grasping my shoulders, love bites on my neck. Moaning out, I get weak, too weak to balance on one arm, I pull my hand back up and place it on the pillow. Lips and tongue on my fingers, R is kissing my fingers, devouring the flavor.

"That's my girl, cum all over that cock baby!" Thrusting in, he holds it there while I rotate my hips and grind into him, climaxing yet again. This time he cums with me.