I am with child.
As much as I dreaded the thought, I ended up telling T about the pregnancy on Friday. So many things passed through my mind as I was doing so, my emotions have gotten the better of me these past few weeks I must say.
Then I slept with him.
I have no idea what I was thinking......
As I was laying on the bed, my back to his retreating form, he called to me over his shoulder as he entered the bathroom. He had asked me if I was certain I was pregnant because I had started bleeding while we were having sex.
Disbelief in my voice, I asked him if he were sure. Pointing out a bloody penis to me, he told me he was sure. Instant terror gripped me, he seemed completely unconcerned. I have not heard from him since.
It was the vigorous sex that had caused the bleeding, I'm quite certain. I have not exhibied the bleeding since.
Even the smartest and best of us make unwise decisions at time.
One thing about Friday did make me smile, however. In an email conversation with J I had revealed I was praying for a girl this time. He had replied back that he hoped it would be a girl too and that she would inherit my beautiful laugh.
I do miss J more then he knows.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
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6 comments:
I'm assuming you are keeping the child. What about T, is he going to be in the picture? For what you wrote it doesn't feel like he is too concern about it.
I will be keeping the child. At this point in time, I do not think he will be in the picture, at least, I really don't want him to be there.
Hello. I found you last week and have read through much of your blog. You are a very good writer and I've really enjoyed reading about your life.
I'm curious...what will you tell your husband about the pregnancy? In my opinion T sounds like a jerk and doesn't deserve your company. But I hope he'll come through and be there for you and the baby.
I just noticed in the archives that T is married with kids. I guess that answers the question of whether he'll be involved. All the better probably since you mentioned he didn't seem concerned. My guess is he will move on to another target.
Are you going to try to rekindle with J?
First I think pregnant women are sexy as hell and if I have a fetish it is to have sex with a pregnant woman...Six months or more as that is when she is really showing. I am a bit confused though is the baby your husbands or is the baby your lovers?
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