Damn the greeting card companies for creating fakes holidays! Sweetest day?? What the hell is sweetest day??
Imagine my surprise as I pull into my drive way and find Tom sitting on the bottom step of my stair well with a pizza and several cans of pop.
WTF??
I had no idea what to do. I was obligated to invite him up, there was no way around it. Cursing myself for not just dumping him via email, I was certain the cold shoulder treatment would be sufficient enough to ditch him after the other day.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
How could someone so handsome and charismatic be so disgusting? I'm still baffled by it all. We munched on the pizza and watched 'The Lovely Bones' for a while, small talking and getting to know each other a little better.
The weird thing is, I still kind of like this guy. I just wish he could ditch the gastrointestinal problems.
Holy shit.... And I mean that in the most literal sense.
I had the most amazing sex with him last night. The farting problem, a distant memory. I was actually kind of glad I invited him to sleep over......
Until a few moments ago.
I don't think my bathroom is ever going to be the same again. He was trying not to wake me, but I was wide awake, laying there, pretending to sleep. Tiptoeing into my bathroom, he turned on the light and closed the door part way.
For the life of me, I can't imagine why he didn't CLOSE it ALL the way.... I heard sounds I've never heard come from a man. I may never be the same again.
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I'm the lady who lives next door, the woman in line behind you at the grocery store, your good friend at work. Just like you, I have my secrets too.
2 comments:
This is interesting, really nice post though, thanks for sharing.
Well, here it is, April of 2019. I just found your blog and am reading it. It's fascinating! I'm up to the end of 2005, so have a ways to go, but can't help wonder how you are doing. It's been about ten years and life goes on. I wish you the best and hope that you are happy.
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