The Wonder of Marriage

I am perpetually amazed at how ingenious my husband is at finding fault with every single thing I do. It certainly isn't easy going through life constantly reminded of your every last flaw.

The Husband and I argued over side dishes from Kentucky Fried Chicken last night. When I say argue, I mean argue, tooth and nail, screaming and crying.

He had assumed I was just going to pick up chicken, needless to say, I picked up a whole meal. Had he listened to anything I had said earlier in the day when we had actually discussed what we were going to have for dinner, the mix up would never have happened.

There in lies the problem....

It is a problem that has always been between us. To him, I am insignificant, nothing I have to say or do is ever as important as what he currently has on his mind. Several times his actions have come back to haunt me.

"Why didn't you tell me!" he normally yells when he has missed an appointment or messed up a meeting.

"What do you mean? I did tell you, that day you were......" I valiantly try to cleanse my credibility.

"Oh no you didn't, I would remember something like that!" he is condescending and arrogant by now.

"Perhaps if you would take a moment to listen to what I have to say once in a while, rather then blow me off like a fucking piece of shit, this situation would not happen!" at this I turn on my heel, tears streaming, wishing to God I could just disappear.

I knew the instant I got home it was going to be one of those moments. I could smell food smells coming from the kitchen, he had taken it upon himself to cook up some side dishes for the chicken.

The look on his face when I appeared in the kitchen with more then just chicken was a look of disgust.

"I don't know why I even bother wasting my time doing shit around here," he mumbled under his breath. "You just take the lazy way out every time anyway."

"Lazy way? Lazy way! I'm 8 months pregnant, or have you forgotten that?? I feel like I want to die most of the time to begin with, why in the hell do you think I want to stand around in a kitchen cooking for an hour after working all day?" I was furious. How dare he. I know from the depths of my soul that had I not shown up with anything but chicken, he would not have been in the kitchen making a thing. I can't help but wonder if he did this on purpose.

He was the one who wanted to come back, to make things work out. I didn't, I never did. I knew this would be the way it would be, once again. He promised it would be different, but I had heard that all before.