I'm amazed by the relative speed at which the news of my separation spread through the office. It was everywhere all at once. My cubicle mate, I'm almost certain, was the one to first leak the information.
Although I had not planned to keep the news a secret, I didn't intend for it to be an office wide scandal.
I was in a meeting with my boss when I first heard the news had hit my coworkers. My boss had laid a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye, asking if I was ok. 'Yes' I had commented, I wasn't quite sure what he was implying. He then proceeded to tell me he had "heard the news".
It is an odd mix of feelings, actually, to be confronted with a situation like that. First, embarrassment that my superior knows of my personal problems. I try very hard to keep my personal life separate from my professional life. Then, sadness, a sick feeling creeps in telling you that your life is in turmoil. Then, anger, thoughts of strangling the life out of whomever has leaked this information. Lastly, fear of the unknown, what does life have in store for me?
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I'm the lady who lives next door, the woman in line behind you at the grocery store, your good friend at work. Just like you, I have my secrets too.
10 comments:
It's true. It must be a little nerve-wracking to know that your children are going to be what keeps you and your husband together. Not a marriage. Wishing you the best.
Wow, that's one of my fears when considering separation in my own marriage. I can' say I know how it feels, but my thoughts are with you...
I've got that coming up in my future as well, not looking forward to it. When I think about everyone I have to tell, my parents, my friends, my co-workers, sheesh. But those fears are natural and they will all find out eventually. At least it is out of the way now and you can move forward. Hang in there.
It's difficult, the feelings that invade almost every aspect of your life. I was there. The paradigm of divorce, is a sad one, but the brighter side is healing yourself and being truly happy.
Take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. It had been so long since I'd visited your blog, I had no idea this had happened.
I'm sorry to hear it, but I'm sure it's for the best.
NSN
I hope you are well. Your comments seem to have been hijacked....
Darn. Seems like any more whenever I find a new blog and read back through the entire thing it goes quiet shortly thereafter - just when things start to get really interesting.
Now what? You were 'Just a Lady with a Secret' and now your secret is out. Have you ceased to exist?
I'm going to follow your story closely. Right behind ya, babe.
Ok, a month now, that is a long time... you ok?
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