Today

I met my Lover Man today at his house, scarf in hand. He smiled as I stepped through the door, taking the scarf from my hand.

"Are you ready, darling?" He winked at me.

"Yes," I replied, my voice giddy with excitement.

Cupping my ass with his palm, he led my down the stairs and into the spare bedroom we use for our intimate affairs.

"I've missed you so much," I say, turning to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I've missed you too Lover Girl," his eyes peer into mine, I laugh. His hand has deftly found it's way beneath my shirt and begun to lightly touch the area of my lower back where I am ticklish. Pulling me closer, he kisses my neck and laughs at my squirming.

He has taken his Viagra, his cock is rock hard pressing against me. I press my pelvis into him, I love the way his cock feels against me. I love it even more when it's thrusting inside me.

"Hop on the bed, Lover Girl," he demands me. I obey him willingly. Tying both hands to the headboard with my scarf, I am left helpless to him.

Helpless to his kissing, and sucking, and touching, and thrusting.

For hours.

Life

I am nearing my 36th birthday and life is good again. I have a 2 year old daughter now, a daughter who will never know her Daddy is not her biological father. She is lying next to me, right now, kicking her feet and whining just a little because my attention is no longer on her, I am writing. I have a 15 year old son who has gotten his drivers permit, anxiously awaiting his 16th birthday so he will no longer have to ride around with his mom. I have a 7 year old who will always be my cuddle butt. I hope the day never comes when he decides it is uncool to tell me he loves me, or give me a hug before school.

Professionally my job is nothing like my former. I miss my old job, it was my life. I often think back to the way things were at the time and smile. My coworkers and friends inside that facility were family, an integral part of my life. The closure of my facility tore my family apart, we have never been the same. New jobs, new paths of life, I rarely see any of them anymore.

R is long gone. He has moved on with his life without me, just as I have moved on with mine without him. I miss him, from time to time, just as I am sure he misses me as well. He was my lover, and friend, I miss the closeness we once shared.

But I have found a new plaything, for myself, a man who is totally unlike anyone I have ever been attracted to. He is unemployed, and even when he was employed, he worked at a lumber yard. No suits for him, or expensive cars. He drives an old truck in which we have fucked in the back end because he couldn't afford a hotel room. He is quite a bit older than I, but for the life of me I don't see age. I see his kindness, and lust for me. When I think of him I see his smile, and the glint of wickedness in his eyes.

When I think of him I grow warm for him, for his touch, for the way his cock feels between my legs.

Times they are a changing....

It has been a while since I have visited my blog.

Things have really changed, in that time.

My links no longer work, or the blog authors have stopped blogging some time ago. I am disappointed in myself for giving up my love of writing, giving up my sexual pass time.

It's time for me to return.

A note from A.......

i keep thinking back to your warm mouth around my cock, sucking me dry, all my cum rushing out, and a little getting away, wishing it was warmer out that day and we could have found a nice place to lay you down and i would climb on top of you , sliding myself in you as deep as i could push myself in, hoping to reach you most inner wall, having my head press against it, feeling you warm cum wet us both and letting you feel my cock as it pusated as i orgasmed, and filled you with all that i had, it pushing out of you with each stroke i made into you, skin on skin, your breasts against my chest, my lips lock in yours, moaning as we cum

I love the way he thinks. I see his misspelled words and poor grammar and know that he isn't the type of man that I have always been drawn to in the past, but he has captured my attention regardless.

My loins ache to see him...

A new start, a new man.....

She licked the precum that had pooled on the head of his cock with her tongue, tasting him. His cock was firm and warm, salty to taste. Shivers of anticipation traveled within her, she wanted much more, but knew she would have to wait, wait until the two of them could be completely alone. His hand rested on the back of her head, softly mussing her hair while she slowly took the length of his cock in her mouth, her lips and tongue sliding across his sensitive skin. She ached for him as he quietly called out her name, warning her of his inevitable climax. She pulled her head back to swallow when the cum filled her mouth, a second wave of cum flowing from his cock down her hand, a portion of which finally resting upon his clothing, thick and cloudy. It had been such a long time, she had forgotten just how much cum a man contains within him. Next time, she tells herself, next time she'll swallow it all.

Wednesday

I lusted for you, as I watched you, as I spoke with you....

A warm heat traveled the length of my body as my fingers delved between the delicate folds of sensitive skin, lightly stroking my aroused clit.

I pictured you, naked, hardened cock thrusting inside me.....

You stroked your cock for me, I envied you. I longed to be the reason for your arousal, the reason for your release. I longed to run my tongue up the length of your cock and taste the precum accumulating at the tip.

I longed to feel you pulsing inside me as you climaxed.....

The urgent, overwhelming need for you enveloped me, my arousal visible by the ever increasing wet spot developing on the soft pink fabric between my legs.

I adore the way I lust for you.

Wednesday

I had sex with the New Guy in the middle of his living room on the carpet this afternoon.

It was our first time.

I'm not sure what to think about him yet, he is sooooo attractive but his intelligence is limited. This is a tough one for me, I find an intelligent man so very appealing, I can say with quite a bit of certainty that I would probably choose an average looking intelligent man over an unintelligent GQ model any day.

He told me my skin was soft, that I had beautiful eyes, that I was an excellent kisser....

His actions had told me he wanted me to go down on him but I wasn't ready to do that yet, which is odd for me. I tend to be the type of woman who picks up on cues like that and submits to them.

I'm not as attracted to him as he is to me.

Sitting on his couch with my legs spread, he knelt before me, arms around me, cock pressed between my legs gently rubbing against me. He was hard, there was no mistaking it. We kissed for a long moment.

"Look at me," he requested. I opened my eyes, he was gazing intently at me, his face close enough to my own that I could feel his breath upon my lips.

I felt unnerved that he kissed with his eyes open, I felt unnerved that he, on several occasions, requested I look at him. Even during sex he wanted me to look at him.

I guess I can't understand this logic. My mind is on auto pilot when it comes to this kind of thing, certain habits are so very hard to break.

Closing my eyes would be one of those habits.

I think perhaps he may be vain, wanting to feel admired and ogled. He is a very muscular man, it is plain to see he lifts weights. He also takes great pains to keep his body hair to a minimum. I have never met a man who grooms his chest hair, and I sincerely mean he grooms his chest hair. Not only does he keep it trimmed but he uses clippers on it as well.

I am perplexed, I suppose.

On the one hand I find myself greatly attracted to T, who I might as well say is the exact opposite of the New Guy. Short, a little on the heavy side, not attractive, but he is so very smart. I can't understand how I can find myself so attracted to someone who is all of these qualities and married to boot and not be attracted to a single, body building, attractive man because I feel he has limited intellect.

I let him cum inside me, he was a little discouraged that he was unable to bring me to orgasm first. His hands were on either side of me, cupping the back of my head. As odd as this sounds, I felt scrunched when he came, each hand grasping a handful of hair pulling my head back slightly as he pushed in fiercely with his cock, holding this position for several moments.

His cum oozed out of me as he finally withdrew.

And ooze it did, thick and white, a spot the size of a quarter was on the carpet where I had previously lain.

I'm left wondering if any future meetings with him would be this awkward.

Wednesday

At T's request, I met with him in his new office.

Even though I promised myself there would be no sex involved, there was sex.

I'm surprised I haven't been turned to ash as punishment by God in a savage lightning strike of some kind.

I certainly deserve it.

The visit had started out innocently enough. I called T from my car after class on Wednesday, he requested I stop by to visit with him, it had been over a year since I had last spent any time with him. (With the exception of the brief conversation outside the social security office.)

We talked about our daughter, her birth, my pregnancy, my plans for the future. Even though I didn't say anything, I had noticed how much his appearance had changed. His hair was beginning to grey, he had put on some weight.

T had noticed how much I had changed as well. Gone was my long hair, I am now sporting a chic new shorter hairstyle that he had immediately noticed and commented several times on how pretty it looked. I purposely wore one of my nicest, sexiest outfits just to torture him.

It worked.

Maybe a little too well.... After talking for several moments he had stood up and walked over to me, leaning down, "I'm sorry [woman with a secret], I can't help how much I'm attracted to you." His right hand had cupped my left breast as he gently kissed my lips.

I turned away, but he did not relent. His lips had resumed the gentle kissing upon my neck and ear. .

I could not resist.

Before I knew it I was kissing him in return, stroking his cock with the palm of my hand. The sound of footsteps could be heard outside his door, but I did not care. Placing my hands upon his shoulders, I pulled him down to me and moaned to him I wanted more.

I wanted him to fuck me.

Smiling, he asked me what I wanted him to do, then kissed me gently on the back of the neck.

"I want you to take your pants off," I quietly demanded. In a second his pants were gone, along with any underwear he had been wearing. Taking his balls in one hand, I stroked the bare skin of his cock with the other as he kissed the top of my head.

"Let's have sex, baby," he begged me. I stood before him, my mind clouded with lust, and removed my boots while T removed my pants. His hand stroked my pussy gently through the thin material of my panties as I once again took my seat, this time sliding my fanny up to the edge of the chair.

With one leg positioned on the chair next to me, T knelt before me, pulling my panties to the side and sliding his hard cock in as far as it would go.

Damn it if I couldn't get enough of him!

I wanted so much more. With each thrust I wanted yet another one, I wrapped my right leg about his waist pulling him to me, kissed him passionately as he held me tight. My chair slid back several inches when he had begged me to cum for him, when his secretary had knocked at the locked door.

"[T]?" she was wondering what he was up to.

"Just a second," stopping momentarily, it was barely noticeable in his response that he was at the height of arousal. Except to me. I could hear it, the way he had to clear his throat twice before he answered her, the way his voice cracked during the word 'just'.

My chair slid back dramatically this time as he emptied his cock inside me. For a long moment he rested, his cock throbbing deep inside me.

"I'm going to have to go, you know. I think you have a client," I kissed his cheek as he withdrew from me, then quickly dressed and left.

I can't understand why I continue to punish myself like this.... Why do I always want the things I can not have?

The New Guy

I caught a glimpse of him staring in my direction.

He is such a beautiful man......

His bright brown eyes danced in the light of the sun. Pretending to be unaware, I accidentally 'catch' his gaze with my own, then smile shyly, sweetly. He smiles in return.

"Hi there," he is leaning down to speak quietly in my ear, his left hand is resting upon my shoulder.

"Hi," I return. His scent is absolutely captivating.

I can feel my face growing warm, blushing, unable to stop. Looking away, nervous tension prevents me from looking into his eyes.

Slowly making it's way from my shoulder to my ass, his palm cups my rear as we retreat to have a few drinks.

Playing with Fire

I have lost my mind, God help me, I can't imagine what I'm thinking!

I have been in contact with T for a couple of weeks now. It all started when we accidentally seen each other outside his office.

Last summer I decided to get a new car, something good on gas, something with a low payment because, as we all know, I lost my job in November. The only thing is, I know very little about it, still, even after 6 months of driving it, and end up 'discovering' a little perk to the car when I least expect it.

So, there I was, sitting outside the Social Security office trying to fenagle a diaper bag, a purse, a portfolio containing identification information to allow me to apply for my daughter's social security card, and a baby carrier when I accidentally hit the door lock button on the key chain. Not realizing the button had been pushed, I tried to open the driver's side door one more time to grasp a paper from the front seat.

Instant chaos.

Apparently the car is equipped with an anti theft device of some sort and when I tried to open the door the horn started blowing LOUDLY.

I had no idea what to do next. With my arms full I fumbled around with the key chain and ended up dropping it on the ground along with the portfolio containing all my documents. By now my daughter had started crying and I was about to cry myself when I felt a hand tap my shoulder and turned to find T handing me my car keys.

"Oh my God, what are you doing here?" I looked down at the baby carrier, my mind went completely blank.

"That's my office over there," he said, pointing across the street. "I got a promotion, I'm now working with outpatient services." His eyes had now averted down to the baby carrier. "I've been watching you for the past couple of minutes.... Is that her?"

"Yes." I could barely hear myself, my only instinct was to flee. Somehow I managed to get the car horn to stop and collect myself enough to think clearly again.

"[woman with a secret], I was scared. I didn't know what to do..... I haven't been able to get you off my mind. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you over here." He seemed so genuine, he was still staring at the tiny pink bundle in the baby carrier.

"I was scared too. I think it may be hard for you, but imagine how I feel. She is going to be with me for the rest of my life, I can't just turn my back and imagine she doesn't exist." T's eyes were beginning to tear. Remorse was beginning to set in on my part.

"I'm so sorry [woman with a secret]. I would give anything to see her," he was pleading with his eyes now, his brow creased.

Carefully pulling the blanket aside, I allowed him to see her tiny little face, asleep with her right hand next to her face.

"Oh my God she's beautiful. I can't believe how beautiful she is...." he stared at her, knelt down before her, for the longest time.

I have been in contact with T ever since. While that has been the only time I've actually seen him, we have talked nearly every day.

I know this is the last thing on earth I should be doing, but, God help me, I can't stop myself.

What do you do.....

when your sex life is non existent?

I'm becoming depressed. I can feel the weight of the world baring down on me, oppressive and cruel. It has been a few years since I've felt this way, I had almost forgotten how sad my life could truly be.

I spend my days with my new daughter now that I'm not working, at least the days in which I don't have class.

I long to find the right man to be with, but I haven't the courage to do so.

Merry Christmas to Me

My naked neighbor stopped by today to see the baby and wish me a merry Christmas.

Oooh la la!

I know very little about this guy, but I do know one thing, my neighbor is quite possibly one of the most attractive men I've ever met. His wife, on the other hand, not so attractive. While I'm certain she's likely the same age as her husband, she looks an easy 10 years older then he. Perhaps it was the short grey hair, or the taper legged jeans.....

Little did she know the entire time she sat on my couch making small talk about my beautiful little angel I was sneaking glances at her husband, picturing him naked.

A Breather

I ventured out of the house yesterday for the first time since the baby was born.

It certainly did feel exhilarating.

It's amazing just how trapped and overwhelmed a woman can feel when she allows herself to be imprisoned in her home. I can see now there is no way I would ever be able to be a home maker or stay at home Mom. I would assuredly go insane.

The young guy at the car wash was flirting with me yesterday, I haven't lost my touch I see. Good to know considering it has been only 2 weeks since my daughters birth and I'm certainly not feeling all that attractive.

While I'm quite positive I wouldn't actually pursue this guy, I'm more then happy to flirt with him in order to get the fancy super wash for the price of the basic wash. The fact that he's fairly attractive doesn't hurt, either.

Mother's Little Helper

At the moment, it's Vicodin.

I miss my sleep, especially right now. My eyes are sunken in, dark circles have made a permanent appearance beneath them. My head is aching, throbbing actually, it has taken 2 vicodin to take the edge off the searing pain.

The boys have had a snow day today, my house is in a shambles right now, but I don't have the energy to pick it up. I think, for now, I'll just sit here and relax, my daughter asleep in the cradle beside me, my feet kicked up in the Lazy Boy.

I would give anything for just a little help once in a while.

The Changes

I've had my baby, a little girl. She is the cutest most precious thing in my life right now.

Yet, I am sad.

I was asleep on the couch this morning, not sure what I was dreaming about, but I awoke in tears. She was starting to rustle, hungry and in need of a change.

I started to cry even harder, not because of the baby, but because I felt as though my life was over. That suffocating, overwhelming, heavy feeling has settled in my core, I'm unable to shake it.

Lustful Need

I masturbated to fantasies of you as I showered this morning.

I'm certain you have no idea what naughty little details swirled around in my mind as I slowly caressed the delicate folds of skin between my thighs. Eyes closed, breathless, warm water pelted the length of my body as I imagined us together, as I imagined your cock deep inside me, thrusting.

As I imagined my lips upon yours, your lips upon mine.

The Wonder of Marriage

I am perpetually amazed at how ingenious my husband is at finding fault with every single thing I do. It certainly isn't easy going through life constantly reminded of your every last flaw.

The Husband and I argued over side dishes from Kentucky Fried Chicken last night. When I say argue, I mean argue, tooth and nail, screaming and crying.

He had assumed I was just going to pick up chicken, needless to say, I picked up a whole meal. Had he listened to anything I had said earlier in the day when we had actually discussed what we were going to have for dinner, the mix up would never have happened.

There in lies the problem....

It is a problem that has always been between us. To him, I am insignificant, nothing I have to say or do is ever as important as what he currently has on his mind. Several times his actions have come back to haunt me.

"Why didn't you tell me!" he normally yells when he has missed an appointment or messed up a meeting.

"What do you mean? I did tell you, that day you were......" I valiantly try to cleanse my credibility.

"Oh no you didn't, I would remember something like that!" he is condescending and arrogant by now.

"Perhaps if you would take a moment to listen to what I have to say once in a while, rather then blow me off like a fucking piece of shit, this situation would not happen!" at this I turn on my heel, tears streaming, wishing to God I could just disappear.

I knew the instant I got home it was going to be one of those moments. I could smell food smells coming from the kitchen, he had taken it upon himself to cook up some side dishes for the chicken.

The look on his face when I appeared in the kitchen with more then just chicken was a look of disgust.

"I don't know why I even bother wasting my time doing shit around here," he mumbled under his breath. "You just take the lazy way out every time anyway."

"Lazy way? Lazy way! I'm 8 months pregnant, or have you forgotten that?? I feel like I want to die most of the time to begin with, why in the hell do you think I want to stand around in a kitchen cooking for an hour after working all day?" I was furious. How dare he. I know from the depths of my soul that had I not shown up with anything but chicken, he would not have been in the kitchen making a thing. I can't help but wonder if he did this on purpose.

He was the one who wanted to come back, to make things work out. I didn't, I never did. I knew this would be the way it would be, once again. He promised it would be different, but I had heard that all before.

Straps and Safety Harnesses Required

It has to be said that the individuals I work with are each unique and bazaar in their own way, definitely worth working with on even their worst days.

With the plant closing comes long days with very little to fill them. We have been left, pretty much, to our own devices, to create work to fill our days until our last.

Probably not a good thing when it comes to 'the gang', the group of misfits I call my friends. It is only in our group we could have such stimulating conversations about safety signs and hot dogs.

While it is not in my usual character to join in on potlucks and such at work, I decided today, because there are only 2 weeks of employment left for us, that I would do just that. After carefully scanning the food and analyzing who brought what and what was safe to eat I noticed, at the end of the table, a tin foil tray full of gigantic hot dogs.

Unable to keep my thoughts to myself, I return to the lunch table we had perched at and comment about the 'ginormous' hot dogs at the end of the table.

The conversation immediately heads for the gutter.

My cube mate laughs, and comments about their 'sheer size'. D, the gay man in the group, decides to comment on how the 'buns' are cringing with fear over the magnitude of the hot dogs girth and weight.

We are laughing, hysterically, and almost don't notice a passerby has picked up part of our conversation and does not realize we are in fact being lude and crude.

"I know," she says innocently. "These are great hot dogs! You don't normally find them this big, I can barely get my mouth around them." Peels of laughter come from our table. "They are quite the value! I need to find out where they were purchased," she has started trailing off, in search of her own group of friends.

Trying very hard, I somehow manage to gather a straight face, and pull one of the manufacturing magazines from the rack sitting beside us.

"There's something missing, I think," I state. Everyone is, by now, looking intently at me, wondering just what in the heck I'm doing. It was at this point that I opened the magazine to a page I had seen previously and somehow remembered. It was a page with a giant sign that read 'Straps and Safety Harnesses Required'.

"Someone could dislocate a jaw if they're not careful, a sign like this could save a life." Unable to stop myself, I continued, "especially if they are inexperienced at having such large objects placed in their mouths."

Have camera phone, will travel.

I've been flirting again with J. Shame on me, I can't help myself. I smile to myself as I read his emails, his shameless sexual innuendo and corny jokes.

I'm secretly hoping he will leave his wife.

Today at work I was forced to entertain quite possibly the most disgusting man on earth. He was a truck driver for an independent contract carrier who has been hired to haul yet more machinery and tooling from my plant.

I can't help but wonder where they scrape these people up from.

As I sat at my desk, staring in disgust, I could literally see his entire hairy ass hanging out for the world to see.

(While I may still be suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome, the doctor has assured me the involuntary head twitching will not be permanent.)

After several scratches, and 1 finger sniff, the man eventually pulled his pants up about his waist, ending my daytime nightmare.

Luckily, as resourceful as I am, I was able to capture the entire episode on cam, passing along my grotesque find to J, as I was sure he would enjoy it as much as I.

He did.

He thinks I'm kinky.

Perhaps I am.

Through the corner of my eye.....

...I saw him standing, naked, before his bedroom window.

He is my next door neighbor, I've met him only once.

Without hesitation he turned and faced me as I drove past his window in the early morning darkness.

Could he see me openly staring at him?

My thoughts immediately switched to sex, sex with him in particular. What I wouldn't have given for a ride on that long, hard, chiseled cock I was fantasizing about.