Growing apart, one of the worst things that happens to a couple.
My husband woke me up last night to tell me he wasn't in love with me anymore, that he felt like a prisoner in our marriage. I lay there, watching him, his nervous hands raking through his hair, his inability to look me in the eye as he spoke. I didn't say anything. I rarely ever argue with him, it's just not in my nature.
This has been a long time coming, though. I'm sure you've all seen it as well. I am hurt because I have tried so hard in the past to please him, but nothing was ever enough. I know I have been so attracted to R because, to R, I am perfect.
When he did look at me, my eyes were filled with tears, then his filled with tears as well. I agreed with him. For the first time ever I told him I was miserable.
Then I told him I didn't hate him.
I'm scared now. I don't like what I'm feeling, apprehension, fear, the unknown. The kids have gone to their grandmother's house for the evening so we can talk. I'm so afraid.
Since the age of 19 I've been with my husband, basically my entire adult life.
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I'm the lady who lives next door, the woman in line behind you at the grocery store, your good friend at work. Just like you, I have my secrets too.
6 comments:
i just want to give you hugs...
be well okay:)
It is such a cliche, but there is beauty in truth. Honesty is a harsh mistress.
The courage to move forward is often hard to find. You are now on the cusp of a new adventure
Yours is the second post I've read tonight that's signaled the end of a marriage. I imagine someday down the road, I'll have a similar post, but today is all about you.
I can only imagine how tough it is. I hope it's at least a smidge easier that you both feel the same way.
Hang in there sweetie.
thanks, everyone, for the encouragement and thoughts. They are much appreciated.
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