Lovely

"You're early," I open the door with a smile to let him in. The doorbell rang as I was stepping out of the shower. I'm not ready for R to see me yet, I wanted to look perfect.

I keep it a secret from the world, but I am crippled with insecurity and doubt nearly all my waking hours. I force myself to excel, to be perfect. I chastise myself when I am not.

"I couldn't wait to see you," R leans down and kisses the top of my head. Embarrassed about my appearance, I stare directly at the floor. My face is flushing, I can tell from the sudden rise in my body temperature. "What's the matter Girlie Girl?" There is a note of concern in your voice.

"I just wanted to look good for you, and......." I force myself to look up into R's eyes. "and I look like this!" Now I can feel tears stinging my eyes. I look back down to the floor, I don't want R to see.

R pulls me into his embrace, his chin resting on the top of my head. "You look lovely." I can feel him kiss the top of my head again. "Now, go on back upstairs and finish getting ready. I can wait."

"Ok!" I smile wide with excitement, he returns the same wide smile back at me. He pats my bottom as I turn to head back upstairs. I'm going to be extra nice to him tonight.